AdultEd
by rockpaperscizzorz
Summary: SLASHER! Double D turns 18. The boys try a night out. Clubbing, gin & tonic, and Double D loses his...uhm...rationality. Oh, boy. Strange Realizations & one eventful evening. Ed/Double D Eddy/various girls. CHP 10 UP! COMPLETED!
1. HIYA, DOUBLE D!

Chapter One

AdultEd

A/N

Here goes nothing. I hope you guys get something fun out of this. Reviews and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated. More chapters to come, I know this one was uber short!

6:59 A.M. Saturday morning. Double D sleeps soundly in his fair-trade organic cotton sheets. He rests in the same, curled up fetal-like position as he does every single night, his black cap pulled over his eyes, so as not to let the sunlight disturb him. It's quiet in the cul-de-sac. Without warning, his door is nearly crushed off its hinges, as a tall, broad-shouldered individual lumbers across the bedroom.

"RISE AND SHINE DOUBLE D!" Ed roars happily

Alarmed, Double D shoots up 3 feet in the air, grasping for some sort of cohesion. With a crazed expression, he quivers back beneath the covers. Realizing it was his friend causing the commotion, his heart went from a clamor to a steady rattle

"Hello Ed?! Good morning c-can I help you with something??"

"Y'know what they say, Double D, the earlier the bird is, the worm gets the cupcake!" Ed giggled. Double D blinked in confusion, it was still too early.

"Pardon?" Ed leapt onto Double D's bed, in the thrash, he managed to rip the sheets from all four angles of the bed, into a messy heap at his ankles. Ed smiled vacantly. Double D twitched.

"A cupcake for YOU!" Ed reached out to present Double D a homemade vanilla cupcake, though it more or less looked like a cupcake; rather a growth of baked egg and sugar with mysterious lime-green icing smeared on top. Double D was at ease, and felt a smile warming up his face.

"How thoughtful of you, Ed. But what's the occasion, might I ask?" Double D gingerly plucked the mysterious pastry from Ed's mud-caked fingers with his thumb and index, and placed it on his nightstand, noting the bits of what seamed to be fuzz and other curious items embedded in the treat. Double D reached for his anxiety medication

Ed gasped. "It's your birthday, mister! Double D you can't forget your own birthday, you'll stay the same age forever and ever!" Ed said, with genuine alarm in his voice. Double D's smile returned, and he popped two anxiety pills.

"Good thing I have you, Ed." Double D laughed, and Ed ambushed him in a massive bear hug.

"Ohhhh Double D! You're a big man now! 18, just like the rest of us! Now me n' Eddy n' you can go and bet on horses to run, and buy lotto tickets, and go to strip clubs--"

"Did somebody say strip clubs?!" Interrupted Eddy as he appeared from the doorway, looking unusually alert for this hour.

"Eddy! You're up so early!" Double D cried, trembling from all the attention. Eddy shrugged and crossed his arms, leaning against the doorframe.

"It's your birthday, Einstein, we all have to make sacrifices sometime."

"Awe, thank y-" Double D began

"Don't thank me, that was your birthday present. Anyway, I heard we were going to a strip club?"

"Oh, goodness, I couldn't. They're so full of bacteria, and questionable women, and the food, Eddy, You must be joking." Double D said, cringing

Eddy winked, "They're not that questionable once you explore," Double D grimaced, mortified. Eddy laughed. "Cut me a break, Double D. If you don't want to go to a strip club, will you at least go to a _club_?"

Double D contemplated the evening for a moment, then sighed, realizing there was no use to argue with Eddy once he was set on something. He forced himself to nod.

"YAAAAAAAY!" Ed exploded from his catatonic gaze.

"Get your ass up, and lets get ready to party!"


	2. Gin n' Tonic n' stuff

Chapter 2

**A/N- Wow, thanks for the positive feedback, guys, I really wasn't expecting that! I'll do my best to keep you guys coming after this chapter…enjoy **

The sun began to drip low, and the boys were preparing for the night ahead of them at Ed's house.

"EDDDDDDDDDDD" Sarah screamed bursting through the doorway, similar to Ed's disturbance in Double D's room, save for the high-pitched voice and the unfriendly tone.

Instinctively, Ed dove under his bed. "Yes, baby sister??" The underneath of Ed's bed muffled in terror.

"Mom is going to be _SO_ mad at you for this!" Her rage was relentless

"What did I do!" Ed's bed quivered.

"There's gum ALL over the living room, and no way I'm going to clean it up."

"But Sarah! Gum is poison to the monsters in Goremunchers one, two and three! I was protecting you and mom and dad in case of invasion," Ed whined.

Sarah looked as if she was about to explode.

"Well Sarah, Ed's efforts do seem plausible," Double D tried to reason.

" SHUT! UP! SOMEONE BETTER GO CLEAN IT UP OR YOU'LL BE GROUNDED FOR LIFE, ED!"

"Nooomph, Sarahh Dompht!" Ed clamored around.

Double D scurried out of the room to go clean up Ed's mess. " I'll take care of it, Ed!"

Sarah glowered at him as he hurried down the stairs. She remained in the doorway, fuming.

"You know, Sarah," Eddy began, while flipping absent-mindedly through his mobile phone address book. "You look kind of cute when you get so angry," he smirked.

"Put a sock in it, Eddy," Sarah spat and stormed out of the room.

"Gross," said Ed, poking his head out from under the crammed bed. He gave Eddy a funny look.

"Serena, Shelby, Theresa, Tiffany D, Tiffany S, Veronica…Man. I need some more game to conquer." Eddy muttered, returning attention his phone, then shut it. "We need to get Double D laid."

"_Strippers From Planet Doom_! Double D would be too scared." Ed said, emerging.

Eddy rolled his eyes. "No, idiot, a real woman!"

An hour later, Double D returned, looking exhausted and disheveled.

"Ed-- how many packs of gum did you use to even think up of that mess!" Double D stammered.

"four-hundred two. Thanks, Double D. I thought I was done for."

"No time for a love-fest, ladies, it's game time!" Eddy declared

Double D presumed to shower and clean up, fitting his black beanie into place just as Ed blitzed the door. Double D frowned "Ed must you break down every door you come into contact with?"

"Eddy said it's time to go!" said Ed and gathered Double D into an arm and heaved him over his shoulder and carried him out

"Ed! ED! I have a fear of heights--Ed! be gentle!" Double D tried to protest.

Soon enough, the boys arrived at the club- a local joint called J00P sandwiched between Tom's Rhinoplasty (for those South Park fans, out there) and a string of high fashion label boutiques. The boys were there almost every weekend, along with most of the of-age neighborhood. Double D peered up at the contemporary building, it read along the velvet-roped doorway in black and white checker-board letters: J00P. The entrance door was made of smooth metal, a digital sign with a marquee displaying the drink specials. It was a huge building, intimidating as well as the rest of the modernized downtown. A far cry from the cul-de-sac.

Double D tremored at the unfimiliarity

"My palms are drenched…I think I'm coming down with a fever," Double D murmured, feeling his forehead with the back of his hand.

"Pull yourself together Double D! This is the first day of the rest of your life!" Eddy proclaimed following with a manic laugh. Double D swallowed

"I'm not so sure about this, Eddy…"

"ALLEUP!" cried Ed and tossed Double D over his shoulder and the boys strolled into the club. Ed set Double D down.

Ed stood six feet and one inch tall, his short black hair sticking out all over the place. He wore a black t-shirt displaying the name of some obscene band, and his familiar green jacket. He had blue jeans complimented by unintended bleach stains and an array of mysterious small holes.

Eddy, at 5"5 (poor bastard) had taken pride in making sure his hair looked elegantly disheveled, slightly out of place, with a button-down navy polo and slightly baggy but fitted acid-washed jeans. A ladies man.

And Double D, only 5"8, slim and slender wore a striped, long-sleeved forest-green cotton shirt with slim-fit dark jeans. As usual, his hair was pulled back and made discreet by his black hat.

The club was bumping with a euro-techno beat. The bar was identifiable by the glow of neon signs. People, both familiar and not danced on the metallic floor. Eddy spotted Nazz, Kevin and Rolf laughing about something at the bar, sipping on drinks. Nazz was 21, but Kevin and Rolf were just 19.

About a year back, Eddy had devised a scam that actually worked. For a hundred dollars a pop, Double D, Ed, and himself devised an ID look-alike, using almost all of Double D's ink in his laser-printer, despite his protest. Eddy conceived very convincing fake ID's, and sold them to anyone willing to fork over the cash

"Well, hello, Ed-boys!" Rolf waved as the three boys walked up to the bar. He was slightly buzzed.

"How's the ID working for you, gentlemen?" Said Eddy out of earshot of the bartender.

"GRRREEAAAT, DORK!" Kevin slurred and socked Eddy in the arm--a bit harder than he intended.

"Good, good," Eddy mumbled rubbing his now dead arm. He turned to Ed and Double D. "Excuse me, boys, it's time for me to work my magic," he brushed his hair back carefully, and made his way to Nazz.

"Eddy has been trying to get with Nazz for years," said Double D. "When will he learn to give in."

"When the fat lady sings, Double D!"

A loud smack against flesh is heard, over the techno beats.

"Gosh, Eddy, some things just don't change, do they?!" It was Naz. Eddy tried to apologize, but was defeated, and walked back to Ed and Double D.

"Problems, Eddy? You look distraught," Said Double D.

"Nnhn. Tough love," Eddy mumbled, his embarrassment was obvious.

"Better luck next time. Nazz is just temperamental. She doesn't know what she's missing."

Eddy tuned his attention to the bartender.

"Toss a Blue Moon my way, buddy."

The bartender gave Eddy a skeptical once-over.

"ID, please," he smirked. Eddy rolled his eyes and flipped out his fake ID nonchalantly in his middle and index fingers as if it was a King of hearts card. The bartender narrowed his eyes at the piece of plastic, then at Eddy, then back down to the plastic. Evidently irked but trying not to look as so, he slid Eddy the beer, which he presumed to chug as if it were water.

"Will Eddy be okay, Double D?" Ed questioned. When Double D glanced over he laughed; his first genuine sign of relaxation. The club wasn't so bad afterall. In fact, it was rather clean.

Eddy was on his second beer already, and whispered something to Lee Kanker, who errupted in bubbly laughter.

"Oh, I think he'll recover just fine," Double D giggled as Eddy gave Double D 'The Look' and led Lee to some discreet spot of the club so as to cough talk in private.

"Buy you a drink, Double D?? My treat!" said Ed.

"Oh, no thank you Ed, I couldn't possibly. I don't drink."

"Awwe, c'mon. I owe you one for getting me out of trouble." Ed smiled a big, goofy smile. Double D looked down, shyly.

"I suppose…one drink wouldn't hurt."

"Sounds great Double D! Warsteiner for me and a--" ed glanced at Double D

"…Uh, uhm, g-gin and tonic?" stuttered Double D.

"--a gin and tonic for my black hatted friend." The bartender eyed the two boys, but handed them drinks anyway.

"Ooh, long-haired Ed-boy drinks for first time, yes?" Rolf nearly sloped onto Double D's shoulder. Double D blinked warily. Kevin leaned on Rolf, his eyes half-open.

"You look like a total lightweight, dude! You won't chug that whole glass!" he said. Double D forced a smile, his face growing hot under all the attention. Ed put his arm around Double D's free shoulder

"S' ok, little buddy," Ed comforted, "take your time, you do not have to gulp it down first try," he said, after gulping down half of his beer. Double D clenched his jaw and looked at the clear liquid, eyes wide.

"Oh, curse peer pressure," he declared, and in one motion, he swept the glass up in one hand, tilted his head back, ad poured the fizzy drink down his throat. The three looked at him in awe as Double D slammed down his glass.

"Ohh. Gooodnesss," he said and held out his empty glass, chin on the bar.

Ed burst into laughter and the boys ordered another round of drinks.

"Great Great Great Grandfather Louie would be so proud, long-haired Ed-boy, oh yes!"

Two rounds turned into three.

Three rounds turned into four

And Four turned into Five.

Result?

A biker who thought he was the coolest guy on the block lay passed out in a puddle of his own drool.

A goat farmer having a slurred, though in depth conversation with a 20-something Swedish girl's breasts and her twin sister

An Ed and Edd laughing at high volume over 'that one time' then suddenly

"Doubbblee D! Letttttttts go DAAAANCEE!"

**A/N -Oh, I am so bad, I know. Don't worry, I'll follow up this chapter quickly, so you guys don't have to wait _too_ long. Hehe.**


	3. New comfort

Chapter 3

A/N- I know I'm keeping you guys in some tough suspense. Hopefully this chapter will make up for all that time ;)

Oh yes, and, I forgot to mention before: Neither Ed, Edd, or Eddy are in any way my property--though that would be very, VERY cool. Pardon the annoying author's notes, I do love ranting3

It was _very_ late. Or so it seemed as though. Double D had more or less forgotten his identity, in addition to his location. Ed's booming voice over the music reintroduced him to his grip on reality.

"DOUUBBBLE D! LETTTTS GGO DAAANCEE!" called out Ed. Now, Double D was extremely drunk, and had abandoned his role as the responsible, more reasonable of the three. Double D covered his face with his hands, concealing a stream of laughter. More importantly, he wasn't covering his face only out of his timid nature, but to steady his head…or the room as one, the other, or a combination of the two were spinning erratically.

Eddy had disappeared for quite some time, and though that thought had passed through Double D once or twice, he felt no need to worry like he usually would. He realized for the first time that Eddy was not causing mischief to stress Double D out, he was out and about the club, or who knows where with one or potentially more of the canker sisters simply having a good time, satisfying his instinctual needs, or, whatever.

He realized also that there was no possible way that everyone in the club could intentionally be staring at his black beanie, provoking anxiety-induced panic attacks. In fact, it was clearer than ever, despite his hazy state of mind, that no one really cared what was under his mysterious dark hat.

His gaze returned to meet Ed's, his face lifted in a silly, drunken grin.

"I'm cominggg, Ed, give mee a sec!!" Double D grinned back. Double D had lost most of his inhibitions. Ed nodded and disappeared into the crowd. Double turned back to the bar. He touched his face, suddenly in awe of how hot it felt, though he was not perspiring. He felt his heart drumming against his chest, though he had not moved from bar.

"Ohh, gooodness," he murmered, then giggled at the sight of Kevin nearly drowning in his own drool.

Double D clumsily lifted Kevin's hand and placed it so that his index finger was nearly half a knuckle-deep in his nose. Double laughed some more, then proceeded to stumble off the stool in search of Ed.

The spinning club looked surreal in all its colors and lights, sending chills down Double D's back

"Ed?" he said, more to himself than to anyone else, who couldn't possibly hear him. Without reluctance, Double made his way into the dense crowd of dancers. He had forgotten to be self-conscience 3 drinks ago, and indulged in the movement in response to the thumping music. Several girls, including Tiffany S.( A summer's eve fling of Eddy's a couple months back) bumped into Double D, and began to dance and rub all over him, which he responded with similar movements, not having a clue what he was doing, but somehow, it worked.

"I thought you were wayyy cuter than Eddy when I met you," Tiffany S. said, rather obnoxiously loud to Double D once they were in close proximity. Double D wrinkled his nose at the putrid scent of alcohol on her breath, and vaguely remembered her as the bouncy blonde that Eddy only really cared about…her physical assets.

He had no recollection of them officially meeting, and smiled vacantly in response. Double D felt her hand casually slip somewhere lower than he wanted, and coincidentally made every effort to wander away, still in search for Ed. Tiffany S. was far too drunk to follow, or even really care.

Double D was hardly aware of which section of the room he was in, and swiveled around the crowd of people. Then, at the other end of the club, he spotted Ed dancing in sync to the beat, and Double D made his way across the room.

He stopped a few yards short of Ed, and Ed in his drunken stupor was unaware of Double

D's presence. Double D had stopped because he realized his face growing hot again, and this time felt his heartbeat in his ears. Confused, his eyes remained on Ed, and he tilted his head.

He noticed that despite Ed's typically clumsy stance and stride, he was unusually in beat with the music. Though outlandish, he was graceful and carefree, and Double D felt as if his whole body would melt into the glowing floor. Something about the way Ed appeared, so into the music and so tall and strong, yet cohesive to everything made Double D feel giddy and relaxed, anxious and at complete peace, and every sort of contradiction of feeling out there.

Ed finally saw Double D and reached out for Double D's wrist and pulled him nearer to dance with, and in ear-shot.

"Where'v ya been Double D?" He said.

"Oh. I. I don't knoww," Double D replied. He didn't realize how close he was dancing to Ed, but was comforted by his size and protectiveness. And Ed didn't seem to mind either. The boys danced for a while, making no attempt to move further away. Double D laughed at Ed's outlandish movements, both of them having a good time.

After a short while, Rolf made his way to them, still drunk, with the Swedish girl and her twin sister.

"Ed-boys! This is Erika, and her sister, Ulsa!" Rolf laughed. Ed and Double D exchanged bewildered looks, and the Swedish girls winked at them both.

"Rolf found clones, Double D," Ed whispered, and Double D giggled in response. The lot danced, blindly falling into a fever of movement, quickly joined by Nazz, Jonny and Plank, and several other no-names.

The drunken dancers broke off from the crowd as they became periodically exhausted. Ed and Double D were soaked in sweat.

"Ed," Double D gasped. The room never did stop spinning, and Double D, distracted by dancing, had forgotten. It appeared to be worse now. "We need to findd Eddy, the club _must _be closing soon," he said.

The two stumbled back to the bar. Double D was far more drunk than Ed, so he relied on him for support. This was no trouble for Ed, Double D seemed half his size.

"If you two are looking for Eddy," Marie Kanker growled on a barstool, sipping an appletini. "He's not here. He left with my sister," she sulked, stirring her drink absent-mindedly.

Ed and Double D looked at each other and shrugged. Ed helped Double D wobble outside, where they caught a cab home.

By now, Double D felt like utter crap, the spinning environment was exchanged for massive migraine. He slumped on Ed's shoulder, his eyes half-open

"Eddd. I feel horrible. I'm sorry. I drank far too much," he slurred.

"There there, Double D. You just need a good nap and something tasty to fill your tummy with," Ed comforted, patting Double D on the head. Double D curled up against Ed's shoulder.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou…" he muttered. The cab ride was horrible. Over every pothole and ever turn, something sickly churned in his stomache. Once home, Ed helped him nearly tumble out. Ed led him into his house. (Ed's parents weren't home, as always including with all of the adults in the cul-de-sac.

Once into the house, Double D felt worse than ever. The room was now rolling, and he was seeing spots. His stomach gurgled, and he felt liquid and dinner making it's back

Up his esophagus. "Ed….rest..room..?" He dove for the nearest toilet, and heaved. And heaved. And heaved. Ed held Double D's cap from slipping into his face. His body trembled as his natural reflexes took action.

It took a great deal of mess to gross out Ed, after having seen monsters and aliens tie human entrails into bowties, eat their guts for brunch, and pickle their brains, Double D's vomit was, only for comparible purposes, easily tolerable.

Once he lifted his head, Ed led him to the sink so he could get cleaned up.

"I'll get you clothes, Double D, you'll be cleaner than a chipper chirper!" Ed said. He had never seen Double D so helpless, and pitiful. He looked up from the sink, his eyes tired, his body exhausted from the nights events. He looked up at Ed, and smiled meakly with appreciation, then drowned his mouth in toothpaste and mouthwash.

Ed found the cleanest clothes he could find, and returned to find Double D folded into himself helplessly on the toilet seat cover.

"Need help?" Double D nodded. Ed lifted off his stained shirt, and helped him, one leg at a time, tug off his slim jeans. He was sitting there, in his black-and-white checkered boxers with his eyes cast low.

"Are you okay Double D?" Ed offered.

"Ed, am I going to die?" for the first time ever, Double D was unsure of the answer. It was possibly the most incredulous statement he's ever made. He didn't know whether he really felt like his life was going to end, or if he felt so awful for going against his parents and the law's orders, death was surely a reasonable punishment.

Ed laughed, "Not at all, little friend, You'll just feel like total crap in the morning."

Double D looked up with a you-must-be-joking expression, as if he could feel any worse than now.

Double D realized he was shivering, and quickly slipped Ed's shirt on. It went down well past his thighs. "I'm exhausted," he said, and with Ed's help, he stumbled over to Ed's bed, and collapsed on the mattress.

"My ears feel like their going to melt off!" Double D said and laughed. For some apparent reason, most likely the alcohol, Double D found this extremely funny. "Ed! Feel them, they are sooooooo hot!" He clutched his head and giggled uncontrollably. Ed began to laugh at Double D, being ridiculous for the second time in five minutes.

"Feel them! Feeeel!" Double D managed to say, rather incoherently through bursts of genuine laughter. Ed laughed his goofy laughter, amused at Double D. He then reach up and gripped his cool hands on Ed's wrists, and placed them on either ear. Both their laughter slowly dulled. Double D looked up at Ed, suddenly becoming aware of himself, despite his liquid influence, still eminent, and still causing a blurred effect on his vision.

"Very warm, Double D, like soup," Ed said.

"Ed, I feel weird," Double D murmured.

"To the toilet?" Ed suggested, and began to gather Double D in an arm.

"No, not sick weird," Double D said urgently, making sure Ed's hands remained on his ears. "I am suddenly terrified of my heart pallipatations, and my blood pressure feels like its surging, but it makes no sense because I eat a 97 percent organic and healthy diet, tons of nutrients and vitamin B, D, and E…although perhaps I'm missing some iron, I--"

Double D was stopped short mind-sentence by the sudden advance of Ed, who, palms still pressed against Double D's ears, dove in and pressed his mouth against Double D's. He inched back for a moment, unsure, and then kissed Double D deeper. Double D tightened his grip on Ed's wrists, the sudden shock of the moment's events sent a bolt of white-hot lightning down Double D's back. His eyelids fell shut, and everyone of his muscles tightened. Ed had lost all of his inhibitions.

He was sure his heartbeat would storm out of his ears, but luckily, Ed's hands were safely, firmly…blocking the exit. Double D pulled Ed onto him where Ed, careful not to crush him with his weight shifted ever-so gently, and kissed him softly for an entire sixty seconds.

Ed pulled back, curiously.

Double D opened his eyes.

"You're….you're a really excellent dancer, Ed..?" Double D said, his eyes wide, his mouth slightly parted, bewildered. Ed gave a small smile, but looked equally in disbelief.

"My lips are tingling, Double D. I think I know what you're feeling."

"What happens now?"

"…I'm not really sure…"

Ed blinked. He didn't know whether this was right or not, but he did know that Double D had a really, really soft mouth, and nice, smooth skin.

He shrugged, picked up the _Strippers From Planet Doom_ DVD case, and chucked it against the wall, managing to strike the light switch.

The room went pitch black

Double D lost all his inhibitions.


	4. You're so Perverse

Chapter 4

**A/N ****Juicy, juicy. I wanted to say that I went back over the previous chapters and did some very minor tweaking on spelling and a few details. Also, I'm aware of the underlined formatting errors in chapter two, and that has been fixed, apologies for the annoyance! READY!SET!GO!**

Ed's house-9:34 A.M.

Double D is curled up in an ambush of sheets on the edge of the bed, resting soundly. His predisposed instinctual alarm goes off in his head; he stirs, then pops on eye open. His unfamiliar surroundings tremor uncertainty, and rap at his conscience. Something is out of place. No; something is very wrong. He's in Ed's bedroom. In Ed's bed. It's so…early? He sniffs. It's, so smelly. Suddenly, he snaps upright, alarmed. The sudden realization--as well as a throbbing, pounding headache hits him like Rolf's 40-pound championship potato (A freakish gardening accident that won Rolf several awards and recognition in Peach Creek, not to mention major street cred from his relatives in the Old Country back home…).

He looked down, analyzing himself. He wore nothing but Ed's huge t-shirt--and, well, a sock. Just one, on his right foot. Oddly out of place, Double D peeled it off, for the sake of cohesion.

A loud snore ruptured the peace of the room, and Double D turned his head, horrified to see the disaster rumbling beside him. It was, the one and only…Ed--'s feet? Double D blinked at the sight of Ed's feet sprawled next to him, his front end faced the other direction at the end of the bed. Double D writhed at the dirty toes, curled up in nightmarishly close proximity.

Double D could take it no longer; the disheveled room, the splitting headache, Ed's dirty, crusty toes... It was far to much for his OCD to manage. A frustrated scream exploded out of him, at such an oddly high octave for his age, that it rang through the house, which rang through the cul-de-sac, which we see being echoed through Peach Creek, the US, then the world. A balding sheep, somewhere in the Old Country is startled by this shrill cry, and causes a stir in the herd, causing the entirety of the herd to spook, then stampede the corn fields, in the peak of harvest.

A native sheep herder looks up at the sky, with remarkably similar blue hair to our beloved Rolf, shaking his herding staff angrily in the air and declares:

"WHY MUST MAIZE GODS OF SKY CHOOSE TO FORSAKE INNOCENT SHEPARD! HE HAS COMMITTED NO ILL DEEDS, YES?!"

Cut back to Ed's room. In the event of the scream, Ed jumps 3 feet in the air, practically scaling the wall

"RUN DOUBLE D! GUT-NINJAS FROM BENEATH THE SINK ARE AFTER OUR TASTY FLESH AND POTATOE SPUDS!" Ed jolts awake, his eyes spring open, wide in fear. He blinks for a moment, and then turns to Double D.

"Double D! How did you get here so fast from my dream?!" Double D looks around, panicking.

"Uhm..uh, Ed…Well… I don't know how to explain…erm…" He gave up. Ed furrowed his brow, looked from Double D, to himself, to the _Strippers From Planet Doom _DVD case, and back to Double D. He gasps.

"OH no! Did we--"

"I Don't know!"

"AH!"

"AHH!"

"Double D! I have tainted you!?" Ed cried out in a doomed voice

"Now, now, Ed, let's not jump to such extents…" Ed burried his head in his pillow, his bare hind-quarters sticking straight up in the air. Double D giggled.

"Where is your decency, sir," Double D chuckled, forgetting the moment for a second.

"Sarah stepped on it," Ed murmured. Just then, the boys heard the front door slam, and thundering footsteps trudging up to Ed's room. The two looked at each other, eyes wide. Double D dove for the closet, and Ed tumbled off the bed.

"Are we in trouble Double D?" Ed whispered

"_SHHHHHH!" _Double D hissed, as they scrambled around the room for something, anything that looked productive and completely unsuspicious.

Eddy burst into the room with an I-had-the-_craziest_-time-last-night expression.

"Greetings, Eddy!" Double D grinned, trying to mask his shaking by reading the credits in the _Strippers From Planet Doom _case.

"That's intelligent, sockhead. Since when do you watch corny 80's soft-core horror flicks?"

"It contains a well-developed plot-line, EDDY!" Double said more shrill than he intended. Eddy raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

"And what the hell are you doing, doofus?" Eddy said to Ed, sitting in a corner, fully clothed, with a book (A book…in Ed's room?!) lay open, face down on top of his head.

"I am hiding, Eddy, shhh."

Eddy stared.

"Why are you wearing Ed's clothes, Double D, and why, Ed, why the _hell_ do you have a _book _on your _head?!_" Eddy narrowed his eyes. Double D thought of something to say quickly.

"Do not ask, do not tell," Ed grinned. Double D swore he would faint any moment.

"What? What are you guys doi-"

"Details, details, Eddy! Your expression upon entering the room seemed to convey information needing to be exchanged, hmm? About last night, perhaps?"

Eddy snapped back into his crude, self-absorbed self.

"Oh that's right!" Eddy snickers, "while you ladies were bobbing your heads to music I was having a grand 'ol time with not one, not two, but three of the Peach Creek's finest chicks!"

"I so love Rolf's blue-ribbon chickens as well, Eddy, they are the plumpest, roundest in all of the land!" Ed exclaimed

"Can it, big guy, or your hiding spot will be sought," Eddy grumbled

"Gasp! You're right! I refuse to be soughted alive!!

Double D pressed his over-dramatic interest, "Sought, Eddy? My word. Have you been…dare I say… studying?!" Eddy gave his infamous crazed laugh.

"That's hilarious, Double D," Eddy didn't further the subject, "Anyhow. Where was I?"

"YouWereAboutToElaborateOnLastNight," Double D said quickly, so as not to distract Eddy from his probing initial question.

"Oh, right, right. So, I while I was whispering sweet nothings to Lee--"

"LEE KANKER!" Ed shuddered

"--Yes, Ed. Lee…Kanker…"

"She will suck your soul from your ears!"

Eddy snickered and was about to spit back an innuendo-charged response.

"Leave it alone, Eddy," Double D interjected holding up a palm.

"He walked right into that one," Eddy grumbled for a moment, then returned to his ecstatic story. "Me 'n Lee, we were about to leave to go to her place, to, ya know, talk about current events and stuff," Eddy winked at Double D, who rolled his eyes in response "And then, May follows us out right? And she's all 'Where ya guys goin?! Can I come too?' And I said 'I guess, if you want,' and both of them said 'Ohh, Eddy you're so dreamy and witty and tall, lets have a big fantastic orgy!' And I respond with, 'May, it's not an orgy unless it's four or more people.' AND THEN! She sais 'Oh, well, my friend from Thailand is down to visit, she can go! She's a contotionist!"

Double D sits, with his arms crossed, looking extremely concerned.

"That's…that's fascinating, Eddy. Truly. Really painted a picture right before my eyes."

"Did you _hear_ what I just _said? _A _contortionist!_"

"I do comporponism all the time, Eddy, see?" said Ed from his 'hiding spot' and began to place his palms in thin air, all aroud him as if he were trapped in a glass box. He pressed his face up against the 'glass' so it appeared smushed. Ed looked like he was laughing, but there was no sound.

Eddy just stared.

"He never ceases to perplex me," Double D noted. He turned back to Eddy. " When it comes down to it, Eddy, you know all you ended up with is two manipulative monsters and a circus performer," he scolded. Eddy shrugged.

"Tits and ass, Double D, tits and ass. And a very thick pair of beer goggles," Eddy smirked. Double D gave him a look of disgust.

"You're so perverse."

"Est. 1988, and still servicing post-adolescent needs today!" The two heard a noise over by where Ed was, and turned to look at him.

"What's the bonehead doing now." Eddy said completely uninterested.

"I'm not really sure this time," Double D replied. Ed looked uncommonly distressed, his palms pressed against the 'glass box'. he appeared trapped.

He exhaled, and with his little finger wrote 'Help!' in the steam vapor, only it was backwards and the two read it as '!pleH'

Eddy chucked the obscene DVD case at Ed, and surprisingly, it was deflected.

"Do something, so we can go bug Rolf or something," Eddy urged. Double D walked curiously up to Ed, and held up an imaginary scalpel. He carved an Ed-shaped outline into the air and popped it out. Ed propelled out of the glass box, tackling Double D in the process.

" I thought I was gonna die in there, guys!" Ed gasped

"Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing, Ed, you might've come back as a tree and been a little more useful," Eddy said, speculating the mysterious invisible box Ed flew out of just moments ago. He felt around where Ed had sat. Nothing.

" I love trees Eddy!"

A muffled voice came from beneath Ed.

"ED! Please remove yourself from my head! Mmmph!"

"I think my butt is talking," Ed observed, and stood to find Double D coiled under him, Ed lifted him up. "Double D! You should be more careful, mister!" Ed shook a finger at Double D, spots popping around his head.

"I'll keep that in mind," He said, dazed and rubbing his head.

"C'mon, lets go see if Rolf got lucky. I saw him with two hot foreign blondes last night," Eddy said, and began to lead out of the room.

"Onward and upward to a distant universe of clones and chickens!" Ed exclaimed, heaving Double D over a shoulder, Double D responded with a giggle. Bobbing gently, as the boys ventured the cul-de-sac, Double D felt safe on Ed's broad shoulder, despite the distance from the ground. He faced Ed's house, growing more distant as the boys progressed. He wondered if he should say anything more to Ed after what happened.

They hadn't had much of a chance to talk, due to Eddy's unknowing intervention. He went over the night before, trying hard to remember the fine details, which usually came easily to him. But he was at loss. The night was vaguely pieced together, of dancing, drinking, and, kissing Ed? He thought hard. Could it have been a dream? He never did remember hitting the pillow, or even falling asleep.

But, even if it was, why on Earth would Double D's subconscious even materialize such a suggestion?

**A/N- Oh, cliffy after cliffy. Guess you guys will just have to check back for the next installment, which, will answer a plethora of questions. Or, will it! evil laughter**


	5. He needs someone to love

_Chapter 5_

_**A/N- Okay I really have to start out by saying this was my favorite chapter to write, you'll see why. There's a song in here that has so much cohesion to the fic, I just want to drool all over it. Tell me in a review or so if you don't understand the opposition in the song bit, I'll explain next chapter.**_

_**I do not own The Beatles, or any of the characters from Across the Unive**__rse ;)_

_10:00 p.m._

_It had been a long day-- Double D, Eddy, and Ed had single-handedly set the Peach Creek record of the worst possible embarrassing moment. Upon just moments of entering Rolf's home, their suspicions were confirmed by the sight of the two blondes curled up on either side of Rolf, sleeping soundly._

"_COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOOO!" Ed had screamed into Rolf's ear. Rolf, who does not sleep, but __waits_ with at least one eye not completely shut 24 hours a day sprang up, and whacked Ed in the head with his Sheppard's staff in one, samurai-like swift motion.

"ONE-BROWED ED-BOY WILL TORMENT ROLF'S LIVESTOCK NO LONGER!" Rolf cried. The Swedish girls, Erika and Ulsa, frightened beyond oblivion, leapt out of the bed, half-clothed, and darted out of the house, down the street and kept on going well past the cul-de-sac.

Eddy glanced down the street, then at Ed.

"Nice shot, Rolf," Eddy said, and turned once again to face down the street where the two blondes were loping, and whistled loudly. "We should come startle you more often. Ya okay, lumpy?" He said, nudging Ed with his shoe.

"I will have a large cheese pizza, with extra pickles, please!" had Ed said.

"Good as new," Eddy laughed.

Double D chuckled at the memory from earlier as he peeled back the covers of his bed--they smelled like a sunset breeze-- or so proclaimed the label on the laundry detergent. He scoped his room, every object in its necessary place, and labels placed accordingly. He had various post-it notes neatly gathered on his mirror, reminding him to do his usual chores come next morning.

There wasn't an article of clothing on the ground, unlike Ed's, and no peculiar smells, unlike Ed's room also. But as Double D wriggled into his familiar spot which he did not move from every single night, the curled up fetal position on the very far left of the bed, close to the night stand, in case he needed to reach for his anxiety medication at any moment.

Although, there was a sort of stiffness where he lay, unlike the previous night where he was so cozy and warm. In the dark, he spotted Ed's cupcake on his nightstand, now mummified by time and inactive preservatives. This did not bother Double D, since he doubted the treat was ever edible anyway, and because it did not attract one fly. Not one. It had no scent either. He smiled softly to himself, and felt his eyelids growing heavier and heavier till they slowly shut, like a drawn curtain.

_Edward_! A voice suddenly said. _Hurry, Edward, your going to be late_! Double D found himself laying on a giant vinyl record, it began to spin, slowly on an even larger record player about the size of his room He stood, confused.

"Late for what?" his voice echoed into black nothingness.

_Your Nobel Prize Speech and Award Ceremony, silly._

"Excuse me," He said, startled, and began to walk the record as it spun a little quicker.

"Is this my dream sequence?"

_Yup._

"And are you my metaphorical conscience?"

_You bet._

Double D glanced down at himself and noted that he was wearing a very fetching black suit-and-tie.

"I wasn't aware I was this creative." He said, smiling to himself.

_Or handsome! _His conscience added.

A large cedar pedestal appeared before him, moving in pace with the record, and himself.

(A/N- Love dream sequences, and how utterly full of nonsense they can be!!)

A spotlight shined into the blackness, and Double D saw his audience. Adults, both alive and dead, brilliant minds all focused on him. Among the hundreds of faces, Martin Luther King Jr, Albert Einstein, Stephen Hawking, Maya Angelou, and Tom Hanks peered up at him…As well as all of his friends from the Cul-de-sac, in the last row in the very back waving erratically.

Double D cleared his throat. Many of his dreams started out like this, and he planned the perfect speech. "I'd like to say, first of all," Double D began, "This is my proudest project yet, the most effective research in the entirety of my scientific career," he looked at the crowd, the Brilliant Minds did not blink, did not smile, showed no emotion in their face. They were blank stares. Critical stares. His pulse quickened. Something did not seem right.

"M-manifesting the, the uhm, cellular abnormalities that i-improperly filter the bloodstream of sugar," He felt his face growing hot, but tried to focus. The record picked up speed. Slightly.

"YAY DOUBLE D!" Ed shouted encouragingly from the last row.

"…Thus freeing diabetics of--"

"How 'bout some more gin n' tonic, Dork, I bet ED will gladly take care of you," called out Kevin, snickering

"Awe. And the next kiss will be greater than the last!" Ed said. The group in the back was suddenly hushed, then began to gossip with one another

"Did you _see_ the way my brother and Double D left the club together?!" Sarah whispered to Jimmy.

"You-you weren't even there!" cried Double D.

"…And then dictionary-head Ed-boy moves closer to Chicken-terrorizer Ed-boy…" Rolf gushed to Kevin.

Double D looked horrified at the Brilliant Minds, their stiff, silent figures all had an expression of laughter that seemed to circle Double D's head.

"I Don't know what your talking about! Those are invalid statements!" He cried out, weakly. One by one, his audience popped like a soap bubble into the darkness, till he was all alone on the gigantic record, picking up speed once more.

_He gets by with a little help from his friends. _His conscience's voice fade in, seeming to be arguing with something. He heard music. Double D was running now, trying to keep up pace with the record. He glanced quickly at what record he was spinning, most logically where the noise came from. It was the Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band album written by The Beatles. Though the music that began to play sounded like the Across The Universe song, "With A Little Help From My friends." His conscience had the voice of Jim Sturgess, (Jude from the movie) (A/N-I would've used the Beatle's album for this, but the movie's soundtrack has a bit edgier sound to it, I thought it'd be more appropriate)

_He's gonna try with a little help from his friends. _His conscience repeated.

Then, another voice faded in, this one was unfamiliar to Double D.

_**Do ya neeeeed anybody?**_

_He needs somebody to love._

_**Could it BE anybody?**_

_He wants somebody to love!_

Double D's conscience was sticking up for him.

_**Would ya believe in love at first sight?**_

_Yeah, I'm certain that it happens all the time._

_**What do ya see when you turn out the light?**_

_I can't tell you. But I know that it's him…_

_He gets by with a little help from his friends!_

_He's gonna try with a little help from his friends!_

The voice (bold), the other one arguing with Double D's conscience (italics) sent a gust of wind to knock Double D off his feet. The music stopped, but the voices continued. The other voice seemed frustrated, annoyed.

_**Do ya need anybody?! **_the voice demanded.

_He NEEDS someone to love. _His conscience countered.

_**Could it be ANYbody!?**_ The voice bellowed climactically.

_He'll get by with a little help from his friends, _his conscience reassured.

_He'll get by, with a little help, from his friends._

Double D woke in a cold sweat, gasping for hair. He rubbed his eyes frantically, and looked at the clock on his nightstand. It read 3:47 a.m.

_I'm ill, _Double D thought. _I need…I-I need to get out of here. I need to talk to someone._ He stumbled out of his room, and quietly left the house, being light on his feet so as not to wake anybody. He walked past Ed's house, Kevin's house, Rolf's house. He paused in front of Eddy's driveway, but continued walking.

"There's something horribly wrong with me," he muttered out loud, "and I need to seek help."

He padded away from the Cul-de-sac, his sneakers making soft smacking sounds as he walked the pavement, briskly. Double D did not like being alone at odd hours of the day. It was probably the most illogical move he's made his entire life. Well, except for that one time at the Peach Creek County chess tournament where one wrong move caused him checkmate. He shuddered.

He made his way around the neighborhood, he walked for a good ten minutes, till he found himself in front of the most unlikely place he could ever hope for. He felt unsettled, but knew, if he was going to get answers, it would have to be here. Reluctantly, he stepped up to his final destination.

And rapped the door of the trailer.

No answer.

He banged on it once more.

Marie Kanker answered, bleary-eyed, but looking extremely pissed off.

"What the heck do ya wan--Double D!" She squeeled

"What are you doing here? At my home, at this hour?…on your own free will??"

"I should be asking myself the same," he replied. "May I come in?" She nodded. Marie still had the same blue hair, only her bedhead caused it to look wildly out of place. She was the band manager of the local venue in the same downtown not to far from J00P, and has since got some ink done, a couple tattoos here and there on her left arm, wrist, and lower collarbone, along with a tiny stud in her nose.

"Are Lee and May here?"

"Nah. I actually wouldn't be surprised if they were out fornicating with Eddy, or who knows what," she rolled her eyes, "I really am having a hard time believing you're here. Have you been drinking?"

Double D shook his head. "Not at all! I was wodering, if--" he said, gulping "--if we could…talk?" Her eyebrows rose, but he could tell her face lit up immediately.

"Well, jeez, could you have picked an earlier time?"

Double D looked at her, a worried expression on his face.

"Wow, that serious, huh," she said. He nodded. "Alright. What sort of troubles are you having? And is there anything I could…do." She winked. Double D smiled weakly. Maybe this was a bad idea. She took a seat on the tattered cloth couch, offering him a seat across from her.

"My thoughts…they have been corroding me lately," he paused, glancing at Marie who nodded. He continued, "I'm having strange dreams that won't leave me alone. My conscience is undoubtedly out of place, a-and I think there is something wrong with me, perhaps even…a chemical imbalance." He declared.

"Man, you should be telling Lee this, she's nuts about dream interpretations and that sort of stuff. But, okay, what kind of dreams have you been having?"

"Well…I'm running on this record, you see, and I'm not going anywhere. And then my conscience seems to be defending me from these…acusations. Everyone I know is there and laughing at me, and then, suddenly, I'm all alone again. I wake up flushed and out of breath…"

"How long have these been going on?"

"Since puberty struck."

Her eyes widened. "And it took you this long to decide there must be something wrong?" Double D shrugged.

"Well, recent events…have led me to believe…make me think that I-I am, well, confused…"

She eyed him. "How do you mean?"

Double D leaned in close, "This never leaves the room, alright?" She nodded.

"The other night, at J00P, I kissed someone, and possibly more, or, goodness I don't even remember if it was real or not, I was highly intoxicated…" He said rubbing his forehead. Marie tried not to look jealous.

"Who?"

Double D shook his head, refusing to respond.

She snickered. "Sounds to me like you have some bottled-up desires, Double D."

"Perhaps so?" He was surprised. Was he that much of an open book?

"Only one way to find out," She said suggestively in a breathy voice. Double D gave her a confused look. She then made a shrill animal cry and tackled him to the floor.

"Oomph! Marie, this wasn't what I had in mind!" Double D tried to scramble for the edge of a table, something, but Marie clung to him, holding him down. Resistance was futile.

"We'll see about _that_!" She pinned his wrists to the floor, using all 102 pounds of her to hold down Double D, who, though outweighed her by 50 lbs or so, couldn't put up much of a fight. Hey, Marie was one tough chick.

She bent her head down and kissed Double D all over his face, and then rather forcefully on the mouth. After a long moment She pulled up. Double D paled, and remained there, paralyzed with fear.

"How about that?" She said flipping her hair back. Double D slowly shook his head. The truth was, what Marie did was both frightening but horrifyingly sexy, her aggressive nature. But her sudden advance was not the move that petrified Double D. Sure, him, Eddy, and Ed had taken every possible stake to avoid the Kanker's, but they were grown up now, well past pre-pubescent angst. What caused the color to drain from his face was the fact that her attack did not arouse him, not the least bit. He shook his head at her.

"What!?" She cried.

"Try it one more time!" He said loudly, and immediately regretted it. He shut his eyes tight. Marie pressed herself fiercely against him, her kiss intensified. Boy, had she been wanting to do this forever and ever.

She pulled back, curiously. Double D had hickeys all over his neck by now. He opened his eyes.

"Well?"

"N-nothing…Absolutely nothing."

Marie let out an exasperated sigh, and rolled off him. Double D sat up. _Oh no. Oh no no no no…_

"Well, Double D. I really hate to say this, and honestly, I really do, but I think you're--"

"Don't say it. Please." It was a weak command. Double D had given up. He was…he was…

"Well, we could find out _another _way," She interrupted his thoughts, a smile spread across her face.

"What? Marie, _no."_

"You sure?" She purred running her fingers down his chest. Double D shooed her hand away.

"Just because I am in a vulnerable state of mind, does not mean I will engage in intercourse with you," He said, trying to sound stern, but looked down, and felt a tightening in his throat--you know, the one you get before your about to cry.

"Awe, Double D," She said, and brushed the hair out of his face, "It's not a big deal at all! now, at least you know, for sure, right?"

He nodded, weakly.

"After all, it takes a pretty tough kid to resist what I practically handed you," she winked "I can't think of anyone that's refused!"

He laughed. "And I would have you know, there would be no denying I would if I weren't…you know."

"I know," she smiled. They both laughed

"Thank you for your help, Marie."

"Oh, anytime, Double D, and if you ever need a reminder, you know who to call."

Double D opened up his arms, Marie smiled and muffled her face in his chest as the two embraced.

When she pulled back, she quickly wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"What is this?" He said, hands on her shoulders.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I can't help it, ya know, every since we were kids, I just always thought you were it. It's hard," She sniffed. Double D nudged her cheek with his fist, playfully.

"Hey, we had fun, did we not?" He chuckled. She giggled softly, holding back her tears.

"Like that one time when May n' Lee locked us in Eddy's closet for almost an hour," She gave a sly smile. Double D laughed in response.

"Though an awkward and disturbing experience, I did learn a lot about the female anatomy." The two burst into laughter.

"I better be going, though, I imagine the sun's rising about now."

Marie rose, and helped him up, and walked him to the door.

"Well, glad I could help. And if you ever have a change of thought, or, whatever, I'm first in line, got it!"

"Always," he said.

"Friends till then?"

"Most definetly."

Marie went on her tip-toes to give Double D a kiss on the cheek. She then gave him a rather hard punch in the arm.

"Later, hot stuff," she smiled, and shut the door.

Double D turned, and headed back to the cul-de-sac, somewhat unnerved at the amount of time he spent with Marie, for the most part enjoyably. Although his mind was somewhat clear, he now had a whole new armada of demons to face. As he walked, he thought about the consequences he would have to deal with for the rest of his life for his personal preference. He seemed to have known, all along, but his denial blinded him. He was at peace with himself for once, he thought as he came in sight of the Cul-de-sac. He took a deep breath, and walked in the direction of Ed's house.

**A/N- OKAY, maybe not exactly a PLETHORA of questions were answered, but it's coming, it's coming, I swear. Stay tuned, guys! : )**


	6. The Braver, The Better

Chapter 6

**A/N- HEY GUYS, sorry I took a bit longer than usual to update. I'll stay consistent, however. I really appreciate the loyal reviewers, and would still love more continuous constructive criticisms/gushes/flames(yes, even flames). Any feedback in general. Have a great next few days, and for those of you living in the U.S. HAPPY SUMMER! OKAY, now to the latest installment…**

From a distance, a boy sat in his yard, peering, or, spying down the road of the Cul-de-sac. Take your pick. He sat in his yard wearing a tube top and white underpants. It was six thirty-seven a.m.

"Woah, did you see that, Plank?!" Jonny gasped.

"…" Plank replied.

"I know, buddy, I know. Double D must've gotten some CRAZY action! Did you see the way the trailer shook!" Jonny said, and then giggled at something obscene Plank muttered under his, er, breath. Or whatever it is that pieces of wood deal with.

See, Jonny Tubifor lived at the very end of the Cul-de-sac, allowing him to have occipital benefit of viewing the Kanker's territory at one end, then down the neighborhood of the cul-de-sac at the other. Jonny was out all night, or so to speak, he was out in his _front yard _the entire night playing shark-and-minnows with Plank, and everything else schizophrenic post-adolescents do to obey their alpha mediums (Plank…)

Was Jonny seriously out that whole night?

Take a moment to think on it.

It's not _that _farfetched. I mean, really.

Jonny and Plank ventured inside, and decided to wait till a decent hour before Plank would order him to leak the info he just witnessed.

Double D, now dragging his feet across the pavement, wavered to Ed's house. It had been a long night, after all, and he didn't realize how exhausted he was until it caught up with him on the long walk. He stopped in front of Ed's driveway, and gazed up at the house. It wasn't much to look at. The house was rugged from age, the blades of grass were tattered and baked to brown crisps protruding out of the Earth.

He peered up to Ed's window. Dark. Of course it was, Ed wouldn't be up for at least another six hours. Double D then looked over at Sarah's window on the other end of the house. He could tell who was the favorite; Ed's window had a tattered cloth for a shade, and Double D could see the plush purple curtains concealing Sarah's bedroom. He sighed, and let his head drop to look down at his feet.

When he looked up, he felt a surge of confidence. He took a deep breath, a gulp, and then another deep breath. Gathering all his courage, he tip-toed to Ed's front steps. He tried the handle; of course it was unlocked. His parents weren't home…they never were, but the risk of waking Sarah was no doubt a thousand times worse the stirring the adults. Double D shuddered at the disturbing thought.

He winced as he practically crawled up the stairs, each one groaning it's own symphony. He wanted to claw his ears out, they were so, extremely loud. He nervously glanced up at Sarah's room, just at the end of the stairs. The door was wide open. Excellent. He had to get past the four-foot eleven tall slumbering ogre. Double chuckled to himself silently.

It was as if he was the knight in shining armor who had to rescue his princess from the three-headed beast. Though Ed was a rather large, extremely smelly princess, the image of him in a pink fluffy dress nearly made Double D lose it. He had never felt so brave in his life. With a surge of courage, he carefully leap the next sets of stairs, and without looking in, darted passed Sarah's bedroom.

Undoubtedly she kept at least one eye open always, so she could bite and claw at any intruders that dare set foot in the house. Her and Rolf definitely needed a formal introduction.

Double D stepped up to Ed's door, and a sign on it read: **DO NOT ENTIR FOR I WILL JELLI YOR IBALLS AND SPRED THEM ON TOWST!**

His favorite quote from a movie. Ed was so creative. Double D pushed the door open, which was slightly ajar, and found Ed dozing--of course, his feet lay nestled in his pillow by the headboard, and his head was hidden under the twisted blankets. Most likely, his solution to quieting his loud snores. Sarah's orders, he figured.

Double D lost all his bravery at the doorway. Shakily, he walked to Ed, and sat on the bedside. He lifted the covers to reveal his head. His eyes were shut gently, moving back in forth. Ed was dreaming. Double D stroked the side of his face and sighed. Then, so suddenly, his eyelids fluttered, and he looked up dreamily at Double D. Double D was frozen.

"Hullo, Double D," Ed said sleepily, his eyes half shut. He reached up and placed his arm around Double D's slim waist, and drew him down to curl up into his muscular, bare chest. Defending himself from Sarah daily had paid off. Big time.

Double D felt dizzy with ecstasy. Ed's soft skin coupled with his big, strong build made for the perfect thing to rest against.

"Ed, I've been wanting this for so long," he confessed. His heart pounded, anticipating Ed's response. Ed just held him closer and gave a droopy smile.

"Meee too Double D," he said ruffling his hat. For once Double D didn't mind. He lightly ran his fingers over Ed's masculine facial features, and leaned forward to kiss him. Ed kissed back, and the two softly dueled with their mouths. Ed, of course, won.

He tugged at Double D's pants, playfully. Victoriously. Double D couldn't remember if he had gone this far when he was drunk. How he wished that night's memories weren't blurred. It didn't take him long to figure that Ed slept au naturale. Well, he certainly didn't remember _this._ And, biting his lip he walked his fingers down Ed's happy trail…

Double gasped, his heart thumping in his head. He blinked warily, and looked around him. He was still standing in front of Ed's mailbox. His shuddered from the lapse in conscience and wished it could only have gone as his imagination planned it out for him. With a hint of contempt, he scuffed the pavement with his shoe. Double D had learned that life didn't always follow the plans you make. For a moment he felt like the lost youth he had strived for so long to stay away from.

Coming to his senses, but still not fully recovered from his daydream, he looked up at Ed's house with sudden frustration. He wanted more than anything ever at that moment, to be the brave knight he imagined just moments ago. But, ah, the torment. His nerves got to him, and he suddenly pivoted and sprinted, the same, geeky I-am-disjointed run to Eddy's.

Double D had recovered his inhibitions.

He bolted through Eddy's doorway, and made a break up stairs, he had no idea why he moved so quickly. He needed to just get away and see a face he could trust for sure. He burst through Eddy's door, and found him--

…spooning with Sarah?!

His sudden presence woke the two.

"Double D WHAT the FUCK?!"

"I-I-I…uhm--I, Oh…Oh, dear" Double D was shocked.

Could things get any more crazy that day?! Honestly!

Sarah giggled and pulled the covers up to her nose. Eddy then smiled slyly

Eddy must've done some pretty deviant things to make Sarah blush like that.

(LMAO. XD)

Double D's eyes widened at the thought.

Then he came to his senses.

"EDDY! Have you any idea how old she is?"

"Don't know, don't care sockhead. By which a rose by any other age is just a flower."

"_Name_, Eddy," he corrected, exasperated, "By which a rose by any other _name_ would _smell_ as _sweet_!" Double said, not knowing which was more horrifying, the sight of Eddy in bed with Ed's underage sister, or Eddy's offensive butchering of Shakespeare.

"Whatever," Eddy said carelessly, and lit a cigarette. He offered one to Sarah.

"Don't you dare take that!" He practically shouted at Sarah, "your lungs will blacken as dark as Eddy's morals!"

Sarah took the cig, and lit it awkwardly, and coughed a couple times.

She smiled slyly at Double D

"What're you gonna do, tell my mom!" She said, and followed with her demonic laughter.

Double D could do nothing but stand there, his hands balled into tiny fists, fuming at the two, though he realized she was right, and there was nothing he could do.

Life: 2,546,834 Double D: 0

Oh, the corrupted youth.

Then, thanks to Double D's brilliantly analytical mind, he formulated a solution. Like he usually, always does. He cleared his throat, and sought a serious expression.

"Eddy, I have presented myself so abruptly to discuss… serious business," Double D said lightly. Something in Eddy's eyes sparked. He blinked and swore he saw dollar signs. Eddy suddenly faced Sarah, his cigarette nearly flying from his mouth.

"Well, you know what they say, little lady, time is money, and the time is now, so that means it's time for YOU to GO!" He said shrilly, practically tossing her, along with her dainty clothing out of the room.

She poked her head back in, surprisingly un-phased by his sudden forced departure.

"Round three tonight at my house, Eddy, I'll sneak you in," she purred.

Eddy growled at her, very Austin-Powers-you're-an-animal-baybay-esque. Sarah squealed back in delight, and then turned to Double D.

"You can come too, if ya want," She said, biting her lower lip suggestively. Double D was speechless. She hurried out of the house. Double D turned to Eddy.

"WHAT on EARTH were you THINKING?!"

Eddy shrugged.

"She's fiesty for her age," he said, smiling smugly.

"I don't even know how to respond to that--"

"Then, don't,"

something caught Double D's peripheral vision. Sprawled on the carpet was a whip, a can of whipping cream with the top missing, and a small elephant figurine. He pointed at the elephant curiously.

"--does that have anything to do with…"

Eddy glanced at what Double D was looking at, and then snickered, but didn't answer.

"…never mind." Double D said, mortified.

Eddy laughed under his breath, then became serious.

"Are you here to discuss my wild romping sexual escapade, or to talk money?!"

"Age of consent, that conversation I will save for another chapter when my gag reflexes return to normal--whenever that may be. Actually, Eddy, I had something else in mind,"

"What else, Double D, could there possibly be to talk about?!" Besides sex and money? Eddy wondered in true amazement.

There was not going to be any beating around the bush with this one. Double D had to be upfront and as uncomplicated as possible.

"Eddy, I think I'm gay!" Double D blurted.

Oops. Uhm, well, perhaps maybe not _that_ upfront…

Eddy was hushed for a moment, his eyebrows raised.

"Okay," he admitted, "you win. I guess there _are_ other things."

Double D didn't know how to respond. So he just blurted everything out at once.

"I became extremely drunk on my birthday, and, and, Ed helped me home, and I barely remember it, but I got sick all over myself, and then Ed cleaned me up and took all my clothes off, and then I think I kissed him, Eddy, I kissed him and I _liked _it, and we may have done more, I just, I just can't REMEMBER anything at all, and then I had a strange dream that played the Beatle's and then went to Marie's in the plight of dawn, and I thought it would scare me back straight, she even got on top of me and offered herself, and I refused, I didn't even become excited, not in the tiniest fraction!" Double D collapsed on the floor. Eddy remained, for once in his life, speechless.

"Well," he began, "that explains a lot…"

Double D looked up at him.

Eddy first made the expression as if he were in a severe state of constipation, then burst into laughter.

"Ya had me going, for a sec, Double D, I thought you were about to confess your undying love for me," he said in between bouts of laughter, "I mean, who could blame ya, right?!"

Double D was humored by Eddy's self-absorption, but in shock at how lightly he was taking it.

"I'm serious, you made up a bluff to get a girl out of my room so you could get me alone and come out of the closet to me!" He tried to keep a straight face, but exploded in manic laughter. Double D realized what he had done. He covered his face and joined in laughter as well.

After a few moments, Double D began again.

"So, this doesn't bother you at all?"

Eddy shrugged and brushed his hair back.

"Hey, it's no skin off my nose. Just don't come to me looking for a good time cause it's exclusively for ladies only."

Double D rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. Eddy finally grew a tiny bit serious.

"Have you thought about this? It's going to bring you a hell of a lot of unwanted trouble," Eddy said.

"I've thought about it in depth, yes," Double D said, "and I'm ready to accept it. I only told you, though. I've never been one to bring attention to myself,"

"My question is," he said slowly, "is why your telling me this, and not your lumpy loverboy," Eddy narrowed his eyes. Double D's suddenly widened in fear.

"Eddy," he said slowly, "I'm so…I'm so terrified…"


	7. college boys

_Chapter 7_

_**A/N WOAH this is a longgg chapter, but hopefully you guys have been waiting for it. It is my up-most duty not to let you down ;)**_

_By now, the sun was stretching out over Peach Creek, and a tiny cart made its way down the Cul-de-sac, pausing for moments at every driveway before proceeding, consistently. On a closer look. We see painted on the side of the cart is Peach Creek Postal Service. Passing by all the houses, he placed long sealed egg-shell letters into every mailbox._

_There would be no particular reason for the Peach Creek mailing cart to be exposed in Ed, Edd & Eddy, but today was a specifically important occasion._

_Rolf awaited anxiously at his mailbox, a tiny version of a barnhouse. (which Rolf had built __himself_, mind you!) His cutoff jeans were grass-and dirt-stained, however he was shirtless, his tan, broad chest boasting years of yard labor.

The mailman, among the conveniently unseen array of adults in the Cul-de-sac, comes to a squeeking halt in front of the pacing Rolf. Only a bare arm is seen as he hands Rolf a small stack of envelopes, and then moves on.

Excitedly, Rolf tears through a particular envelope, and stuffs the rest in the barn-house mailbox. He eagerly reads whatever bit of paper, and then jumps several feet in the air, kicking his heels together and crying out a phrase in his native tongue expressing his ignited glee.

"Come, Victor, Rolf must transact his pleasure to the peers of the cul-de-sac!"

Victor snorts in delight, not knowing any better, but followed Rolf anyhow. The two raced to the play-ground, the commonplace hangout since they were kids.

"Woah, look at a Rolf go," Kevin said, his attention turned from Nazz by the loud smack of bare feet coming towards them against pavement. Nazz giggled.

"He sure looks excited about something!" She said, smiling.

"Quick, Sarah, run for safety, he's coming right for us," Jimmy said, cowering at the base of the tree house. Sarah shook her head.

"Coming-of-age peers of the Cul-de-sac, Rolf arrives bearing four-dozen sheepskins of good news!"

"Uhm, nice pig," Nazz said, pointing the the wheezing animal

Kevin rolled his eyes. "This should be classic," he responded.

Nevertheless, the entire neighborhood crowded around Rolf. Whether vaguely interested or not, rarely did anything exciting tremor through Peach Creek, and even the smallest bit of news sent the neighborhood afire to come see what was going on.

Back to Eddy's house, him and Double D walked out of the house together, lightly bantering.

"It's shady, Double D, you can't keep all those feelings stuffed in ya like that," Eddy said, sounding a bit…concerned? Double D caught this right of the bat.

"And where do you get _that _notion, Eddy?"

Eddy shrugged it off. "Somethin' my brother told me once."

"I suppose…but it's not something you can just go singing about, the approach would be difficult to calculate, and I wouldn't want to sound incisive or make anyone feel discomforted…"

"Oh, don't get your sock in a knot. It's either that, or you'll never know, y'know?"

"I _know_…but I can't handle that kind of sexual tension, Eddy, I just can't!"

Eddy's attention wavered to the bunch of kids huddled together down by the playground. Naturally, a swell of people made Eddy's business tactics bristle to life, since usually the more people were around, the more money was likely to be spent. He mentally kicked himself for not conjuring up a last-minute- scheme.

"Hmm, I wonder what's got everyone's attention over there," Double D said, blandly dropping the subject. Eddy's attention was elsewhere, pulling him back was out of the question

"Let's check it out!" And the two hurried over. They arrived just in time to see Rolf holding up a sheet of unfolded paper in the air triumphantly.

Double had to pause for a moment, noticing Rolf's proudness…and his tan…bare… chest. He gulped. Not again. Eddy managed to catch this, and nudged Double D in the ribs, who nearly slammed into Kevin.

"Hey--watch where you're goin, Double _Dork._" Kevin sneered.

"Oh, my apologies, Kevin," He replied, caught off-guard. He looked around, nervously, almost feeling guilty. Ed was no where in sight.

"Alright, dude, what's the big news?" Kevin said, almost bored by now. Rolf, on the other hand puffed out his chance. Double D was beside himself.

"Rolf has been accepted into the Harvard school for law education!" He cried. There was a dramatic silence for a moment.

Then Eddy burst into manic hysterics

" AHAHAHA! You, Rolfy-boy, son of a shepard, are going to study at _Harvard_ to be a _lawyer_!! Someone…someone give me a tissue I think I'm going to cry tears of joy," Eddy said between bouts of laughter. Double D only glared at Eddy. Rolf shot Eddy a menacing look.

"JUSTICE RUNS THROUGH THE AORTAS OF ROLF AND HIS FAMILY, LOUSY ED-BOY!" Rolf defended, thumping his chest aggressively

Double D nearly doubled over in an educational-gasm.

"Rolf, that's wonderful! Don't listen to Eddy, I imagine you will enjoy the disparaging cut-throat antics of law!"

Eddy rolled his eyes. Rolf threw a dark, toned arm around Double D. At a closer look, Double D could see…GASP…was that a bit of eyeliner Rolf was sporting?! His blue hair mischievously flipped to one side.

"Long-haired Ed-boy knows greatness at last!"

Double D smiled shyly. Rolf was unnerving.

"Where's your acceptance letter, mister?" Sarah poked, interrupting. All heads turned to look at Double D now. His eyes widened

"OH my goodness, in all the excitement, I hadn't even gone to check!" Double D became extremely flustered, worried, and angry at himself all in one sitting. What an excellent way to begin the day.

Eddy blinked at Double D

"You mean you didn't read your letter yet, sock head? I would've thought you'd be the first one blabbering about your acceptance to, like, Yale or something,"

"Yeah, my loser brother got into Peach Creek Community College," Sarah said with mock excitement. "Means he's still gonna live at home while he's at college,"

Double D became slightly irritated at Sarah's insults, but let it go. He had to run home quickly to see if he got into his first choice University.

"Relax, dude," Nazz said reassuringly, "I'm sure you got into every college you applied to."

"Thank…thank you, Nazz. I really must rush home!" Double D turned to race home--and nearly trampled Ed.

…More like, Double D nearly got taken down by the gigantic wall that was Ed, to say the least.

Ed gave a gummy grin.

"Hiya Double D!" He said, and placed him upright by his shoulders. If Double D weren't Double D, his mind would have turned to much by now by all the comic relief and sudden confrontation…all of which were heavy on his mind from the last couple days…

"Hello Ed…I, I have to get home quickly, I have yet to read my responses from colleges!" He sputtered.

Ed gave a knowing nod.

"Not to worry, Double D," he said, patting his hatted-friend's head lightly, "I'd swear the lint in my toes that you got into the most prestigidious school in the whole world!" Ed said with momentum. Double D merely looked up at him, inspired by his motivation.

"The longer we wait, the colder the gravy!" He exclaimed, and threw Double D over his shoulder. With that, he ran home, with Double D, terrified holding on for dear life, but in the back of his mind comforted by Ed's faith. He wasn't the brightest fella, but he sure knew how to make light of a situation, even if he didn't realize it. Double D saw Eddy sprinting to try and catch up.

Once at Double D's house, Ed set him down in front of his mailbox, and waited patiently for him to remove the letters from the mailbox. Eddy finally caught up, heaving like a man in his mid-fifties.

"Where the hell did you learn to run so fast, Lumpy?!" He demanded, wheezing.

"Aerobics, Eddy!" Ed gave another dopey grin

"You really should quit smoking. You'd probably be able to breathe after a short jog," Double D scolded.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll get to it when I feel like it. Open your stinkin letters, already, will ya!"

"Oh!" Double D nearly forgot. Today just wasn't his day. He opened the mailbox, reached in, and pulled out a stack of letters. His eyes quickly read over the top lefthand corners, where the letters came from

"Princeton, Yale, Sanford, Duke, New York…NEW YORK!" He squeaked. This was the letter he had looked forward to. He had been working towards this since he was five…those other schools, they were just back-ups. But this…this was empirical. If he could study medicine at New York University, it would no doubted elevate him to the highest possibility of research…he could save lives, cure diseases… Curiously, he tore open the letters to the other school.

"Eddward, we are pleased to congratulate you on your acceptance to Duke…" He said almost dully. Eddy's mouth nearly dropped to the ground. He knew Double D was smart, a genius even, but it had not fully materialized that he could get into one of the most highly- regarded schools in the country.

Ed's mouth also hung open, but not in shock--he had just gotten tired of holding it shut. He didn't know what Duke was, but it sounded like royalty, so it must've meant Double D was going to rule the world, he thought. Boy, was Ed proud of Double D.

Double D almost tossed the letter to the ground as he read the others…which all read the same thing, of course. He finally got to the last one, the little white envelope bearing New York University's proud logo. He ripped open the seal, and tugged out the letter. His eyes raced over the words.

"I did it," he said almost under his breath. He could feel his eyes welling up. Eddy socked him in the arm.

"C'mon, you knew you would," Eddy said, trying hard to hide the proudness in his voice.

Ed seemed to have a delayed reaction. He was slightly disappointed that Double D _wasn't _going to rule the world after-all, but he was still happy that he was happy. Besides. he was going to _New _York. Not just regular York, so this must be special too.

"HOORAY!" he cried, and nearly squeezed the life out of Double D in a massive bear hug.

"Ed--oomph, I'm going to bruise like a banana!" he squeeled, but couldn't help laughing and welcoming the warm gesture.

"After you ladies are done _kissing_, we should go back to my place. I just got a great idea. _Doctor Ed's._ Ed will take the calls, make the appointments, you'll diagnose our patients, and I'll give them antidotes…for a fee, of course…"

But Double D's mind went blank after Eddy mentioned the K-word. He didn't remember telling Eddy…had he known this whole time? He shook his head. Eddy was just being his usual sarcastic self. There was nothing accusatory hidden beneath his statement. His mind raced. He needed to know the truth, the truth about the other night…

"Y-you, go ahead Eddy, I need Ed to, uhm, help me find something." He gulped, hoping Eddy wouldn't question.

He raised an eyebrow, but didn't say a thing. He then shrugged.

"Whatever. Meet you girls at my house,"

Double D let out a sigh as Eddy headed home.

"What do you need to find, Double D?" Ed questioned. Double D turned to Ed.

"Come inside. It's…it's very very important."

Ed saw his friends serious face, and nodded eagerly. The two went inside, and headed for Double D's room. He sat on his own bed, and watched Ed pulling curiously at all his sticky-notes.

"Ed, I need to ask you something," he said, growing very serious.

"Fire away, captain," Ed replied. Double D inhaled slowly.

"I need you to tell me what happened, at, er, the night at your house. My memory is, faint, and I can't decipher fact from fiction…" This was possibly the most whole statement Double D ever made regarding this issue. He held his breath for a response.

Ed turned, furrowing his brow. He didn't like how worried Double D looked.

He went and sat in a small chair, facing Double D.

"Sure thing! See, me, n you, n Kevin, n Rolf had a bunch to drink, ya know?"

Double D nodded eagerly

" 'N then, I said, Double D! Lets go dance! But I was sorta drunk n stuff so it came out all drawn out, like a slug! 'N then, we're dancing, n havin' a good time n' stuff, and you get all worried about Eddy, so we g to try and find him, but he went home with Lee n May. By then you were real drunk, so I helped you ina cab, n we went to my house! Follow still?"

Double D nodded again, only his heart began to pound.

"I got you s'new clothes, cause you couldn't do it by yourself, 'n then I helped you into bed, 'n you went to sleep!" He ended abruptly. Now it was Double D's turn for his jaw to drop.

"You mean…that's it? I just…we just…went to sleep??"

Ed laughed

"You passed out cold!"

It was all a dream, Double D thought. That was it.

"But see, I got scared n stuff, that you would fall out n hurt yourself, so I stayed with you the whole night.

Ah, he thought. The warmth. Thank goodness, _that _was real.

"You…stayed with me?"

"Yeah! 'N I held you real close, to, so that you wouldn't roll away, either!"

Double D felt his head clouding. What he wanted, was just his imagination. What he felt…was real.

"But then I started to feel funny."

Double D snapped his attention back.

"Funny? How…how do you mean,"

"My whole body got really warm on the inside, and I felt really nice with you in my arms. 'N I dunno if that's a good thing or not, but I wanted so bad to…"

Double D was on the edge of his bed, his lips slightly parted, eyes wide in anticipation. "…Yes?"

"I wanted to do this!" Ed said, and leaned inward so that his lips brushed against Double D's. He remained there for a moment, and pressed firmly against Double D's mouth mouth.

Now this…this wasn't a dream.

**A/N- Wooo! What a chapter… Stay tuned guys, and as always, please review and tell me what you think!**


	8. Problems?

CHAPTER 8

**A/N this is the chapter all you dirty-minded readers have been waiting for! dramatic music **

**I don't really know how to make this a warning, but there is plenty of yaoi decadence that I have strategically avoided by cliffhangers hehe. Read READ!**

--

--

Double D pulled back slowly, but not in shock. His mouth was parted slightly, and his eyes were half-lidded, clouded by the sudden advance.

Ed merely stared, and neither said anything for what seemed like an eternity. It was as if sound-sensitive bomb were ticking in slow motion, and the nuance of either's voice would be vibration enough to set it off, to blow the entire Earth. Ed then bit his bottom lip.

"Is this bad, Double D?" Ed began, slowly in a low voice, unable to avert his eyes from his hatted- friends'. As if in a stupor, Double D blinked a few times so that he became alert, but ever cautious. It took him a few moments to respond.

"I don't…I don't think so…" his heart seemed to surge in his chest.

"Your mouth is real soft n' stuff," Ed said. "'N it tastes kinda like Christmas, c'ept better, so it can't be bad," he reasoned, grinning from ear to ear.

Double D laughed softly, his heart warmed.

"Can we do it again?" Ed said, suddenly excited, his eyes widening to the size of saucers. A small smile played on Double D's lips as he sat there, contemplating. He wasn't very sure if he was prepared for this. I mean, all the dreams, the strange realizations, the night at Marie's, him and Eddy's talk, everything. He wasn't even sure of what he was getting himself into. Sure, he'd have to confront his parents, the kids of the cul-de-sac would no doubtedly find out, and perhaps he'd be even more of a social outcast than ever.

But then he realized none of that bothered him at all. His parents were never around to really pay attention anyway, and if they did care, they'd soon forget in the midst of their work and current musings. The cul-de-sac kids were never viscous, but if they were intolerant, Double D was going off to college in a couple months, and wouldn't have to deal with any of that.

He was free of mind, free of spirit, and there was something concocting up in his heart, stomach, whatever. He wasn't quite sure what it was but it definetly felt good. Ed was right. Kissing Ed felt good. Kissing Ed felt really good.

Without warning, or inhibition, as if it were an involuntary movement like blinking eyes or beating heart, Double D leaned forward, and placed his mouth gently on Ed's.

Kissing wasn't new to Double D. Though he often hated to admit it, he did have a slight romantic pang for Marie in his adolescent years. She always seemed the strongest, most intelligent of the three Kankers. Referring back to that one time when Lee and May locked the two in Eddy's closet, Double D had gotten quite a bit more than what he bargained for. Marie was always the more aggressive, and of course she pounced at her opportunity-both literally and figuratively- at once.

At that moment, it was clear to Double D that kissing wasn't the most disturbing rendezvous that occurred between two people. It, in fact, wasn't that bad at all. She had placed her hands all over him, in a rare moment of racing intimacy. But Double D just had fun, and that was all he got out of it. Really. When the sisters finally opened the closet, Marie was breathless, and half-melted on the floor between Eddy's collection of exotic porn and old-school hip-hop cassettes. Double D had only glanced up, with his intelligent eyes, giving the girls a devious look, and laughed. He _laughed_.

He had taken advantage of their gaping stupor, and his own moment (probably the only one he ever had, poor guy…) of dominance to nonchalantly stroll out of the closet.

All these racing thoughts were triggered by Ed's tender lips on his. Double D's heart pounded, and he felt nervous, and scared and excited, like when he saw Ed dancing that night at J00P. He tried to focus his thoughts, but he couldn't stop his over-analytical mind from spinning a million miles a minute.

And then, something foreign and wet slithered between lips.

And Double D's mind shut off.

Boy, Ed was deviant.

Woah. _Woah._

Instinctively, he ran his hands up to Ed's shoulders, holding on to them as though he'd fall out of the realm of reality any moment. Ed's invading tongue was countered by Double D's, there eyes shut in a silent, blissful duel. Ed slid his arms under Double D's, in a strong embrace.

This was definitely _nothing_ like kissing Marie. This was so, velvety and soft and delicious. Double D could feel the icy chills traveling and spreading like bolts of lighting, as Ed's hands moved up and down his small back. The gentle strokes of their lips and tongues made soft sounds that Double D couldn't quite place, but he felt it conduct his heart to beat faster and faster. More! _More._

Curiously, his pressed his cool hands to Ed's defined stomache, and felt the muscles ripple in response. Ed broke away from Double D for a moment to give a dopey giggle.

"That tickles, Double D!" Double D's eyes only widened.

"Oh…pardon," he murmered, smiling shyly and then engaged in an intensive lip lock once more. Double D's hands journeyed to Ed's back, where cloth had now become skin. Ed shuddered, and Double D pulled back, drawing his hand up to his own chest in tiny fists in a very childlike reaction. This made Ed laugh, and he poked Double D's flat stomach.

This gentle, playful gesture nearly made Double D topple backwards.

"Ed! Be careful, my intestines are extremely sensitive to…intrusive exposure!"

Ed laughed again.

"I like your intestines," He said, grinning. Double D lifted up his shirt just past his belly-button to examine the potential damage.

Granted, Double D had never had much of any muscle definition, however his metabolism loved him, and kept him slim. Being a vegan since he was nine also contributed to his particularly small frame. He didn't mind it, though. Being small had its advantages. He could get around quicker. More importantly, keep up with Eddy and Ed, who were always running around someplace.

He looked back up at Ed, his face shifted in slight concern at the small red mark Ed's poke had left. But Ed only grabbed both of his hips and slid him closer, he bent down to kiss the battlewound.

And then, Eddy barged in.

He was about to burst with excitment.

"YOU GUYS, YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT JU-" He stopped dead in his sentence. Double D pulled back suddenly, and mirrored Eddy's expression of sudden shock

"Uhm, Eddy….!" He looked from Ed to Eddy, and back to Ed, and realized how bad of timing Eddy had for Ed's current, TOTALLY innocent position. Double D's legs were hanging off the edge of his bed, while Ed, now on his knees had both hands placed firmly on both of Double D's hips.

Ed turned around, looking a little too excited, which confirmed any disturbing and unwelcome pictures in Eddy's mind

"Hiya, Eddy!" He waved ecstatically.

Eddy let out a loud whistle.

"Well, I was going to burst in brag about seeing Nazz's boobs just now, but apparently, you two win," He said, looking back and forth between Double D and Ed. Double D looked guilty. Ed looked spaced out.

"I, I can explain!" Double D said shrilly. Eddy only held up a hand

"Please. Don't," He said, staring hard at Ed's hands. " Really."

Double D looked defeated for a moment, then suddenly placed his hands matter-of-factly on his hips, managing to swiftly brush of Ed's hands in process.

"I suppose you left your manners elsewhere, or perhaps you would have knocked!"

"When have I ever knocked!"

Ed, taken aback by Double D's sudden shift in tone, patted his head, comfortingly.

"There there, Double D! I don't knock either!"

"Yeah, Monobrow, you just stampede them, altogether" Eddy said, rolling his eyes. Ed grinned stupidly and we hear a horse goat bleat in the background.

"Alright, well…" Double D had nothing. "Nazz let you see her topless? Shoot me, for being just the slightest bit skeptical, but I find that highly unlikely," he said, crossing his arms. Eddy's ego sunk a couple points.

"Were they warm and mushy, Eddy!?" Ed said aloud.

"Yeah, Ed. Just like your brain."

Ed looked terrified

"…I have boobs in my BRAIN?!"

"….Sure"

"**PROBES!" **Ed jumped up and bolted for the door.

"ED! Where on Earth are you _going!" _Double D called after him out the window. He and Eddy could see Ed running down the street by now

"TO SAVE SARAH!" Ed's voice echoed throughout the cul-de-sac, his limbs flailing. Eddy was beside himself in heaving laughter.

"That wasn't funny, Eddy," Double D said crossly. "He won't be able to sleep for weeks, now." Eddy only responded in more manic laughter. Down the street, tree shadows shift, Rolf's beets sprout blooms, you know, to show the passing of time. We go back to Eddy, who has finally calmed down.

"Are you finished," Double D said, with a pang of annoyance. Eddy nodded, wiping away some tears conceived by his laughter.

"Nazz didn't let you see her topless, did she." Double D accused. Eddy huffed.

"Not _exactly…"_

"What, then?"

"Well. She was sort of…tanning,"

Double D nearly lost it

"You SPIED on NAZZ tanning TOPLESS?!"

"Don't have cow, geez,"

"Eddy, that's creepy!"

"It was only for a second!"

"More like half an hour!"

"WELL then you OBVIOUSLY lost track of time while you and Ed were eating each others faces, and who knows what!"

"THERE WAS NO 'WHOKNOWSWHAT!' WE ARE NOT! TALKING! ABOUT THIS!" Double D was shaking at his own sudden rage. Tsk tsk. Hormones. Eddy, also taken aback slung an arm around his friend.

"Chill out, Sockhead. What goes on behind closed doors makes no difference to me,"

"Thank you, Eddy." Eddy grinned slyly. He had won the banter. Double D caught himself.

"Not that theres anything going on behind those doors!" he defended.

"Right, whatever. Hey, do you know what tonight is?"

"Uhm, a harvest moon?"

"No brainiac. It's Friday. Party time. Clubbin' it."

Double D put a hand to his head.

"It's Friday already?!"

"You bet it is. Let's get going."

"What about Ed?"

Eddy flipped out his mobile phone, and dialed Ed's house.

"Hello?" a sickeningly sweet voice answered on the other lie

"Hey brat, get Ed on the line,"

"Oh, hiiiiii, Eddy," She could rot teeth in minutes with all that sugar pouring from her voice.

"Save the slow-talk for tonight. Put Ed on," He said, unphased. A loud 'HMPH' is heard, followed by an ear-searing screech for Ed's name.

Eddy held the phone an arms length away, yet still winced.

"I think he went to your stupid club thing," She said after a few moments of silence.

"Okay then, thanks, smell ya later,"

"Wait, Eddy, are you coming over ton--" Eddy hung up quickly. He laughed nervously

"Children," he said. Double D eyed him

"Speaking of which, we still have to talk about that whole incident with Sarah…"

"We got nothin to talk about. I don't ask questions about about your…your…_Ed_, and you just let me take care of my…business."

Double D contemplated, then sighed.

"If you say so, Eddy," Double D said.

The two hopped into Double D's station wagon, and they headed off to club J00P. For some odd reason. Double D couldn't help but wonder why Ed had left without a word without them. Maybe this was too much for him. Maybe This was too much for himself.

Once there, Double D couldn't spot Ed anywhere. Eddy went off to find his usual target, and Double D took a seat uncomfortably at the bar.

"Gin and Tonic, please," He muttered. He stared at the drink blankly once it was slid to him. This was the forbidden fruit that started it all. He vaguely remembered that night, but it had been so intense. So confusing. So…unsafe. He threw the liquid at the back of his throat, and signaled for another.

He felt a strong arm slide around his shoulders, and lit up immediately. He turned.

"What problems does the Double D-Ed Boy have?" said Rolf, already half-drunk. Double D's heart sunk. But Rolf flashed a flirty smile.

"Oh, I'm fine. It's good to be in company."

"There is no greater display of company than a son of a Sheppard's!" he declared, and Double D laughed.

"Have you seen Ed around by any chance?"

"Yes, Rolf has seen the pink-haired Ed-boy dancing around with several girls and boys. For a large-built fellow, his moves are as graceful as the sway of Victor's milk spouts."

Double D's heart skipped a few beats. He finished his second glass, and beckoned for another.

"Woah, dude. Alcoholic much?" Nazz said and giggled.

Was Double D being social? Ho-ho!

On his third and most intense drink-or at least that's what it felt like in his current state- Double D was already beginning to have blurry vision.

"How _dare_ he mess with my emotions!" Double D said angrily

"Nothing in life is fair, man," Kevin consoled, though he wasn't even looking at Double D, more or less processed what he meant.

The drinks piled up. Double D hoped for Ed to show up just in the nick of time. He waited. He surveyed the room, even though his vision was fading. Did the room become darker? The music seemed muffled. He stumbled out of the bar stool. He was going to have to leave his car here, he knew he was far to intoxicated to be a responsible driver. Good 'ol Double D.

And the room began to fade out. This hadn't happened before, _what on Ea,rth is going on? _He thought. He had not calculated this. He felt sick to his stomache and dizzy, like he did the week before at Ed's, but the room was becoming dimmer and dimmer, and suddenly, everything seemed to tower over him. The thumping music added to his dismembered thoughts, soggy and incomplete. No, he was on the ground, that's why everything seemed taller. The ground was cold and wet, probably from spilled drinks of dancers. How unsanitary! He thought, repulsed.

Wait, why was he on the ground?

Double D blacked out.

Arms wrapped around him, and lifted him off the ground. It was Ed! It had to be! He couldn't see, but he felt himself being carried. Movement, movement movement. The rumble of a being inside a car, and then soft sheets, a fluffy pillow, and the warmth he craved. Though barely conscious, he tried to get as close as possible to the body that was gently running its hand along his face, jaw line, neck and shoulders, chest, waist, hips.

A moan escaped his lips.

--

--

The sun was annoyingly piercing through the shades. Double D's eyelide felt like lead, as well as the rest of his body. He had blacked out, in the middle of the club dance floor. And Ed had come and swiftly removed him, taking him home. He vaguely remembered touching, and softness and warmth. But he was sure of it this time. He forced an eye open, so he could just glance for a moment at his slumbering face--or, feet, since Ed had a bizarre sleep pattern.

Only there were no feet next to him. Something cold gripped his heart as he saw a tuft of blue hair just barely poking from underneath the covers.

**A/N GASP! Oh no, Double D! What have you gotten yourself into!!**

**I suppose you'll have to let me know what you think, and most definitely stay tun****ed :D**


	9. Mad About You!

Chapter Nine

--

--

**A/N Alright, guys, some interesting surprises in this chappie. It looks like this is the second to last chapter, so savour it as long as you can! Let me know what you think..**

--

Oh, he wasn't just scared. No, no. Double D was terrified. He felt the blood begin to pound in his ears.

_Please don't be Rolf please don't be Rolf please don't be Rolf..!_

Now that…_that_ would open up a whole can of worms.

He peeled back the covers ever so gently.

…

…

And wanted to die at that moment.

Rolf lay there, only his head exposed, sleeping soundly. His black eyeliner was smeared all over the place. He looked like he had a rough night.

Double D paled

The two of them…had…a rough night?

Oh, but Rolf looked so edgy and blissful, and…

No! No Double D!

He took a moment to take a mental step back. Ah, logic.

Rolf … well, this certainly explains a lot.

Why hadn't he thought of this before.

He looked himself up and down, alarmingly. He wore only a pair of green boxers.

And they were on _backwards._

"_ROLF?!" _He suddenly yelped. Rolf's eyes popped open in alarm.

"HUNG-OVER ED-BOY!?" he squeeled back.

At that moment, a tiny, blue-haired head poked up next to Rolf's, emerging from the covers. Her make-up was a smeared disaster. And she looked livid. Most likely because she had been rudely woken from a deep-slumber hangover.

"**ROLF,**" She said, and once aware of her surroundings, she shrunk back in shock.

"Double…D?!"

Double D's mouth hung open.

"Marie!"

"ED!" boomed the owner of the name from the other end of the bed, the big lumpy oaf appeared, grinning.

Rolf, Marie, and Double D were bug-eyed, and the three at once:

"_**ED?!"**_

All of them, save for Ed, let out a horrified scream. So he wouldn't be left out, Ed immediately joined in, although it was vacant.

"WHAT ARE WE SCREAMING ABOUT!" Ed shouted. And they stopped. They looked suspiciously at one another

"Will someone care to explain _what _on _Earth_ happened last night!?" cried Double D

"We got…kicked out," Marie said, squinting trying to remember.

"Yes, alcoholic Ed-boy was running rampant like Rolf's beheaded chickens!" Rolf chimed in.

"And we tried to help your sorry butt out, and the owner followed us out and told us to not come back for a month," she said with a humph.

Double D turned to Ed, who had a mortified expression. His nurturing instincts overrode his present feelings

"Ed…what's the matter…"

"What did you say you did to your chickens, Rolf…"

A sly smile spread across Rolf's impish face.

"Rolf removes the heads from their bodies, picks out every feather, and ROASTS THEIR SUPPLE BODIES AS SACRIFICES TO THE GODS! OF ROLF'S HOMELAND" Rolf rose his arms up for dramatic effect.

By almost certain coincidence, as soon as Rolf finishes his sentence, a lighting bolt strikes just outside the window, causing a sudden downpour. Ed cowers behind Double D's small frame, and utters a squeak.

"Oh, goodness, look at the time…we better be on our way," Double D said with a small nervous laugh, eying Rolf warily. With Rolf's sudden apotheosis-like movements, he had risen up from the bed, yanking the covers a bit further down then intended. It left Double D with little to the imagination, and he was nearly certain that Rolf wasn't wearing clothes under there.

"Don't ya wanna know what happened to you, handsome?" Marie offered, also a bit taken-back by Rolf. She glanced at Double D, though, and had a look in her eyes. She knew something that she didn't want to say out loud.

"I'm sure Ed will explain everything, and many thanks to your generous hospitality, uhm, R-Rolf…Marie…I'm not sure," He gulped at how awkward his sentance had just sounded.

He backed out of the room, with Ed trembling behind him.

They rushed out of…Ah, it _was _Rolf's home, managing to trample through his field of beets and carrots. The rain was coming down in sheets, and Double D's mind raced. He was holding on to Ed's hand tightly as they ran through the rain.

He couldn't go to his own house. He wasn't sure how early it was, but the risk of his parents being at home were far to likely. For crying out loud, Rolf had just started a thunderstorm, anything was possible now!

Ed seemed to sense this, and automatically headed to his own house. They were running unusually fast, and it didn't take them long to get there. When they did, Double D collapsed in a heap on Ed's couch.

"I'm not…built for that kind of…cardiovascular endurance…" He said breathlessly, but his head was down.

Ed grabbed some towels, and sat on the floor, in front of Double D, peering up at him.

"Is it me, or is Peach Creek just one big pie that everybody shares?" Ed said. Double D laughed, realizing the innuendo.

"No, I think Rolf is just…a manwhore, and Marie, is, well…Marie."

"N' me and you, Double D?"

"I was just about to ask you about that…" Double D held his head in his hands. He was still sopping wet. Gently, Ed dabbed Double D, and he looked up.

"Ed…I know for a fact I remember intimacy, and warmth, and softness and touching! I don't know what the heck happened…or with who…Oh my…" Double D stopped mid sentence, allowing a horrible possibility to set in. "Did I participate in an orgy?"

He covered his mouth as if he had just uttered taboo, eyes wide.

Ed only giggled.

"Iunno!" he replied

"Ed! Do you realize how sacred such an act is?! To me, at least…and I could have shared that with Marie…or…Rolf, or…or _you_, or a combination of you three or, WHO KNOWS who else…and my underwear is on backwards, so therefore…someone _must_ have taken them off at one point…and…and…" He shuddered, and crumbled into the couch in hopelessness

"…I just wish it could've been _you, _only you, no one else!" Double D cried, his face burried in his arms. He couldn't believe he had just openly revealed his feelings like that. Oh, the vulnerability!

Ed was torn by Double D's collapse. He was always the tough one, though no one liked to admit it. When everyone was running around with their heads cut off like…he shuddered…Rolf's chickens…Double D would always be the one wagging his finger making sure he and Eddy got through whatever they needed to go through. Seeing him so upset tugged at Ed's hear a little. A lot.

He put his arms around Double D, and patted his head. He tried to re-configure the whole big speech he had just come up with in his head.

"There there, Double D! You're s'posed to be the tough one, n' not like me n' Eddy, who are Chickens all the time n' stuff. Whenever we run around, you bring our heads back n' we're okay again!"

Double D looked up with shining eyes from brimming tears.

"I'm not quite sure I understood that, Ed, but thank you…"

Ed grinned his big, dopey grin

"I gots it all saved up here just in case!" He said, pointing to his head. Double D wrapped his arms around Ed. He loved this comfort. Why couldn't it just stay like this?

"Please tell me what happened…"

"Well, Rolf picked you up, cause you were falling everywhere! And I didn't get there 'till late cause on my way, I had to turn around to pick up Sarah n' take her to a sleepover at Eddy's cause mom n' dad wouldn't. S'Weird, cause I didn't think Eddy had a little sister…He must keep her a secret… But Rolf and Marie called, and said you weren't doing okay, and they said you kept asking for me, so I came, n' took care of you. But we were all so tired, we just crashed at Rolf's," Ed replied.

"…And you took off my pants?"

"And your undies!"

"Ed!"

"But you were shivering, Double D!"

"Is that all?"

"Nuh-uh, I kept you close so you were warm. And you were real soft, and you wanted to kiss me so bad!"

"That's embarrassing," said Double D, biting his lip.

"Nuh-uh. It was nice. But that's it!"

"No more?"

"Nuh-uh."

"I didn't lose my-uhm-innocence to, Marie?"

"Nope,"

"Or…eh…Rolf?"

"No sir, over and out! But Double D, you must have some funny dreams"

"Wha…never mind. I don't think I want to know."

Ed giggled. Double D blushed.

"Ed. Can I…can I ask you something?"

"Fire away, mister!"

Double D looked around nervously.

"What's it…like?"

"What's what like."

Double D looked hard at Ed.

"Ooh. That," he shrugged. "S'okay."

Double D pouted his lips and took on a look of dissapointment.

"Just okay?" He whimpered.

"Well, its never been with anyone like you. You make me feel scared inside!"

"Oh dear. Me too."

"I think I like it, Double D,"

"I agree," He smiled shyly. "I don't want to be intoxicated and not remember. I'm exhausted of excavating my memories for one memory of that first night, of last night! I want to be conscious, and aware. I'm so terrified, Ed, but I refuse to hide behind drinks, and…oh, darn these impulsive hormones!" He looked at Ed, who, just smiled. Double D was so smart!

"Now, now, mister, it's past your bed time!" Ed said slyly, his eyes beginning to smolder.

"Excuse me? It's probably not even 8-Oh. Ooh. What do we do about that, hm?" Double D's eyes widened.

"DUAL!" Ed pounced on Double D, managing to pin him down to the couch. Positively overwhelmed, Double D let out a squeak.

"Ed! Please! Be gentle!"

"Never!"

He pressed his mouth against Double D's, who didn't protest. His hands glided underneath Ed's shirt. This was amazing.

Ed pressed against Double D, careful not to crush him with his weight. His heart slammed against his chest, His forehead beaded with sweat. He was in heaven. He felt the warmth of Ed's skin on his, and that was enough to make him crazy.

Double D was very much awake, and he was very much conscious.

And lucky for him, this time he'd go all the way.


	10. An Ed in Central Park

Chapter 10

**A/N ALLLRIGHT! I cannot believe it's finally over…but here it is, the last chapter of AdultEd. I'm going to miss this wipes away tear dramatically This is the longest chapter, so I think you guys will enjoy it. As always, let me know. Of course I'll keep on writing EE&E…**

**Oh yea…and the first part is full of graphic yaoi. You asked for it, you got it. It is my style of it…so it's a bit different than most versions. I tried to keep it acceptable for Ahah. Cheers, all!**

Sunlight peaked through the window of Ed's room. Double D, always a morning riser, of course naturally woke up. He did so, however, _verrrry _slowly, as if to taste every moments second in slow motion. His eyelids opened as if they were made of lead. He rolled over from his normal curled up fetal position onto his back, to look up at the yellow-tinted ceiling. On any other occasion, Double D would have been tempted to scrub the ceiling in attempt to free it from time-elapsed dust.

But this morning, everything was different. He felt his eyes close as he went back to the night before…

He had felt to warmth of Ed's huge arms cradle him to his chest. They exchanged heated, intensive kisses. All of a sudden the cloth on their bodies turned to skin. Double D remembered every second of it. Every caress across his body, all ten pads of Ed's fingers tracing every line of Double D's body. He remembered every electrifying shiver that raced down his spine, shuddering in response of the soft touches. He saw, Ed's eyes wide in childlike wonder as he absorbed all of Double D. This made him laugh a little.

"Why do you look at me like that, Ed?" he said shyly in a soft voice.

"Cause, Double D, you look like Christmas n' Fourth of July n' Easter, all in one," he said.

"How so?"

"The way the light hits your hair and makes it look like a halo around your head…N' your cheeks are all bright and your eyes make fireworks go up in my head…makes me feel kinda dizzy n' stuff…" He trailed off, his palms silking their way past his hips, Double D shivered in ecstasy. "…Then, well, there's the surprise that I searched for…though it wasn't hard to find at all…" referring to Double D's…er… adulthood.

Double D bit his lower lip, trying not to let his smile get too big. Christmas angel, July fireworks and an Easter surprise. Ed had such a brilliantly colored imagination.

"Not as much of a _big surprise _as you, Ed," Double D poked playfully. Ed averted his eyes bashfully.

"Awwe…"

The night therafter wasn't, however, painless. Double D had to admit it hurt. Ed no doubt won the duel.

"Please…be gentle?" he had muttered just seconds before. Ed's face softened, his head tilted. He cradled him closer.

But it was good pain. He felt like he had been craving this white-hot sharpness that burned beneath his eyelids, down his neck and chest…hips, thighs and ankles and toes. Extraordinary pain and pleasure. He gripped the sheets and bit down, fighting back screams. Ed squeezed his hips, every so often in the heated moment a deep rumble escaped his mouth. This was the most wonderful sound that ever came from a person, Double D thought while his head spun .

And just as quickly as the pain set in, it was over, this time replaced only by a surge of pleasure. Release. He collapsed with Ed, curling up into his chest. Ed squished him in to his warmth. He breathed a heavy sigh.

"Are you okay Double D?" Ed spoke softly.

"I feel…so…good…" he muttered sleepily. He breathed in the aroma of the room, of himself, of Ed. He could remain conscious no longer.

He felt something warm and soft graze his jaw line. His eyes fluttered open. He saw Ed's angelic face looking down on him.

"…Hi…" he said breathlessly.

"Hiya Double D. I was watching you sleep, then got carried away!" He grinned

Double D giggled, and he reached up to run his fingers through Ed's hair.

"Ideally, Eddy should storm in at any moment," Double D said. The two quickly turned to face to door. Nothing.

After several moments, still, nothing.

"Well. He still knows how to ruin a perfectly good moment, at least,"

"Yeeup. Double D, think, we have time to take a shower before he comes?"

"I don't know Ed, if we each take a tweny minute showe-" He glanced at Ed, suddenly catching on to his suggestion. He glanced away, blushing. "Well… we'd be conserving water, at least," a smile spread slowly across his face.

After a very steamy and soapy twenty-two minute shower (why two extra minutes..? C'mon, use your imagination!!) Double D and Ed dried off, changed, and got in reasonable positions in which Ed read a comic book upside-down, and Double D began to dust Ed's dresser. I cloud of dust puffed up, and Double D sneezed.

"May the nose spirits never bother you for breakfast again! Ed cried vacantly, absorbed in his graphics. Double D blinked

"I'll take that as a bless you…Goodness, Ed, when was the last time you dusted this?" Double D gasped, covering his face with one hand.

"1873!" Ed exclaimed

"But Ed, you weren't even ali-Oh. Ohhhhh…" Before he could convulse in an Obsessive Compulsive episode, Eddy stomped in.

"Hiya Eddy! Good timing!"

Eddy gave Ed an annoyed look.

"What? Good Morning to ya too, Lumpy," He replied. He turned to Double D. "Did you find Ed's math book, Sockhead?" he asked, referring to the cloud of pre-historic dust that was swirling around Double D's shoulders now. If Double D could have gaped in horror, he would have. However he would not sacrifice sanitation for comic relief. Instead, his eyes bugged out in horror. He swatted away the dust cloud.

"I doubt the last time _that_ was dusted, primates were just learning how to stand upright," Double D retorted, thoroughly displeased with the mess.

"Sheesh. When are ya gonna come over my house and clean my room?"

But Double D was in far to good a mood to allow any of Eddy's arrogance frustrate him. He thought for a moment.

"Probably never, Eddy," he replied, satisfied with himself.

"Nice comeback Brainiac," Double D's mouth turned down in the corners, and Eddy, content with his morning dose of Double D-bash, took a seat on Ed's questionable recliner.

Double D tilted his head at Ed, and smiled once more.

"Ed, are you aware that you your reading your comic book upside-down?" He asked.

"Yup," Ed replied simply. Double D and Eddy exchanged blank stares. Then, Eddy's eyebrows knitted together, and his face lit up.

"Smells like lovin' in here," Eddy said suspiciously. His eyes widened at Ed.

"Twenty-five hours a day, seven days a week, including Holidays!" Ed chimed without looking up. Eddy looked like he had just won the superbowl. He _leapt _into the air and tackled Ed.

"You mongrel! Who was it, Lumpy! Tell me all the juicy details, now now now!" Eddy was ecstatic.

Double D folded his arms over his chest.

"You sound like an adolescent teenage girl," He mumbled, rolling his eyes. But in the back of his mind, Double D felt anxious.

Eddy ignored his remark.

"Ooh! Ooh! It was Lee, I bet five-NO! TEN bucks it was Lee."

A pang of jealousy hit Double D. Everyone in town knew Ed lost his virginity to Lee years ago. They were both fourteen…and curious. Needless to say that was the last girl Ed had ever taken remote interest in... It was an embarrassing joke that taunted Lee on her behalf, but Double D and Ed had always subtly flirted, since puberty… He knew that Ed was so openly affectionate anyway, he hadn't paid much attention to his feelings…

"Put your money where your mouth is, mister!" Ed said.

"Wait, ew Ed, was it even a girl? Ugh. It wasn't Rolf, was it. I don't know how he does it, but he can get every girl and nearly every guy in town…and he knows it! Must be that goddamn eyeliner. They _do _make his eyes seem mysterious and irresistible, but c'mon, what gives?! Ed! Are ya gonna tell or not??"

"I presume you had another 'wildest night of your life' experience you'd rather share instead, _EDDY,"_ Double D said a little to quickly and a little to shrilly. Eddy was silent for a moment, then turned and narrowed his eyes at Double D.

"Eddy…" He warned.

Eddy looked down at the bed he was now sprawled out on in his attempt to gossip information with Ed. He suddenly rolled off, alligator-death-roll style, onto the floor with and "oof." He sprang up, pointing a finger at Double D.

"It was _YOU!"_ He cried, and tossed back his head in his manic laughter.

"Eddy! We talked about this!" Double D squeaked.

Eddy folded his arms, mimicking Double D's stance.

"Right, right. What happens behind closed doors. No skin off my nose," He glanced at Ed.

"You could have at least informed me. I'm heart-broken," he mocked a woe-is-me expression.

"You can come too!" Ed said gleefully.

Eddy became rigid and uncomfortable.

"Uh, no thanks. I know I'm completely desirable and all, but I'm a boob guy. Count me out,"

"S'okay, Eddy, I could never like you like that anyways," Ed said, returning to his upside-down comic. Eddy paused.

"Wha? Why not!"

Ed shrugged. "Iunno."

Eddy shook off his moment of distaste, and returned to his slouchy stance.

"I have good news," he said slowly.

"Were listening," Double D said, his face still a little heated from the AHA! Confrontation.

"I am a man today," he said proudly.

"I believe your flash of insight is seven months and four days late. How could you forget, we threw you such an outrageous birthday party," Double D said smugly.

"Was that a smirk? I'm rubbing off on ya, Sockhead!"

Double D rolled his eyes.

"No. I conquered the greatest territory of all time last night," Eddy paused for dramatic effect, and the realization settled in.

"Eddy! You didn't!"

"Yep. I did."

"You're unbelievable!"

Eddy grinned. "I know."

Ed looked up. "What did I miss, guys?"

"I. Got. Nazz." He said with triumph.

"DID YOU USE ANY ILLEGAL DRUGS?!" Double D practically shouted.

"No way. I'm just the man."

"Kevin will be livid," Double D retorted.

"He's a drunken loser. All the more power to him."

"Conbobulations, Eddy," Ed grinned once more.

Eddy beamed. "Thanks."

"Any more interesting news?"

"Actually, yeah."

"What, then?"

"My brother just signed a huge record deal with this band. He felt so generous, he gave my whole family plane tickets to go to New York to see him. We already made plans to go up next month, so they just gave the tickets to me. I have enough for us and the Cul De Sac. Feel like visiting your future college, sockhead?"

Double D's mouth fell open, despite the threat of being unsanitary.

"Eddy…You must be kidding,"

"Wish I was, buddy. Wish I was. Happy late Birthday present?"

Double D soared across the room and wrapped his arms around Eddy. He squeezed him in a tight hug…which wasn't very tight at all.

"Hey. _Hey._ Watch the new threads. You're gonna get Ed's love juice on me. Back off," Eddy muttered.

But Double D could barely contain himself.

"I'm warnin' ya. Keep your distance, or else…"

"Or else what, Eddy," Double D laughed, still embracing his friend in appreciation.

"I'll tell the entire cul de sac you're a flaming homosexual."

"Really? It's a shame you won't have a mouth to convey that information," Double D giggled.

"And why is that?" Eddy looked irritated, yet confused. Double D suddenly turned to Ed.

"Ed, Eddy is having sex with Sarah behind your back."

Ed's head snapped up from the comic book. He bristled, and had the stare of a starving bloodhound, he prepared himself to launch into big-protective-brother death attatck. Eddy's scream became a distant ringing following Ed's roaring as he chased him down the neighborhood. Double D only chuckled, watching them from the window.

--

--

--

We now take ourselves to the Peach Creek Airport, the gang awaiting to board their plane for New York. We see Johnny and Plank playing hacky-sack together. Rolf plotting his family's conquer on a map strewn out in front of him, Kevin read a motorcycle magazine while Nazz read an US Weekly magazine, Lee, Marie, and May were playing cards, Jimmy curled up in another seat, slumbering. Sarah's head leaning on one of Eddy's shoulders, also in deep slumber, Eddy trying to grimace at the fact that Sarah is resting against his sore shoulder (Take a wild guess on that one, too…) Double D reading a medical journal, his arm touching Ed's whos next to him jamming with earphones to some obscene punk band.

Double D rose to get a bottled water. He was surprised to find Nazz tapping on his shoulder.

"Yes?"

"Hey, Double D," she sang, flashing her flawless bright smile. Double D mirrored a smile also. Nazz was always so brilliantly infectious.

"So…you and Ed…do you like, have a thing?"

Color swirled into his face.

"Er--well, I…see…Ed and I…" He stammered. And she giggled.

"It's cool, dude. I saw the way you guys danced together…and even the way you move, it's kinda like you guys are synchronized without even knowing it…it's cute. I was just curious, ya know?" She flipped her short hair to one side. She let it grow out a little past her shoulders.

Double D relaxed, and even laughed softly. He felt comfortable talking to Nazz. Who didn't?

"I adore Ed, actually. He is so openly with his affection to everyone, however, as if he has so much love in him he has to distribute it to every one," He said, and selected a bottle of overpriced Evian from the shelf. The two waited in the lengthy line.

"I just fear that if I offer all of my feelings to him…well…I'm unsure how he'll respond to that," He finished. Nazz cradled a bottled mango smoothie and peanut butter M&M's. Double D decided that she'd make a wonderful mother. Kevin really didn't deserve such a sweet girl.

"Well, I think you should go for it! You won't ever know if you don/t do it soon…I mean, your going to college in New York…when do you see yourself in Peach Creek again? And even if he doesn't feel the same way, it's not like you guys won't be best friends until you're like, old and wrinkly."

Double D slowly nodded. Nazz was right. The probing dreams, the way his cheeks flushed whenever Ed smiled…even the first night he saw him dancing so gracefully, he knew his heart was set on the big oaf. He felt the sudden urge to jump on the counter and scream out his l… his lo…His intensely strong feelings for Ed. But that would be insensible. He agreed to his epiphany.

"Nazz, can I ask you something,"

"Totally, go for it."

"Kevin…why?"

She laughed once more.

"I get asked that a lot. See, remember when I was younger, I was kinda chubby?"

Double D nodded.

"Well, Kevin was my best friend. Ya know…spent every night talking to him on the phone, and I'd even cry to him cause everyone at school, even my mom would tease me for my weight. He was always there for me. When I lost all my baby weight, it was like people saw me for the first time. I got all these friends, and boys started talking to me,"

Double D nodded. He had specifically remembered himself, Ed, and Eddy ogling at Nazz in their adolescent years.

"And I realized that if I didn't lose all the weight, I wouldn't have all this new attention. Kevin kept me grounded that way. He never changed the way he talked to me or looked at me. One day he told me he loved me, and I believed him. If anyone else had said that, I would have called them out on it. Kevin knows me, he always has. We're still just best friends, you know…we believe in having fun while were still young. If he dates other people, it doesn't bother me. And visa-versa. We know we like, belong together and despite what happens now…I think…I know I'll marry him," she paused, and looked thoughtful. "Besides, he's kindof a dork inside-out. Don't tell him I told you though. _I_ kissed _him_ the first time," She beamed.

And then they were at checkout. They paid for their refreshments, and headed back out.

"Good luck with Ed, Double D," she whispered, and glided to Kevin. She sat down next to him and punched him playfully. He smiled and punched her back--lightly. They burst into laughter.

Double D was wrong about them. He felt enlightened by Nazz's kind words and story. Dreamily, he sauntered back to Ed.

"…RETRACT YOUR CURSE FROM ROLF THIS MOMENT! OR HE WILL CAST THE SOAP SPIRITS TO CLEANSE YOUR NOSE FROM THE UNDERWORLD!" Rolf spat. He was haunched over a deck of colored cards, pointing a quivering accusing finger at Eddy, who was on the ground trying to maintain his cool, but looking terrified at the same time. It appeared the clouds were beginning to darken and gather outside.

"Relax, Stretch, it's just a card game. When you have the last one you're supposed to shout 'Uno!' "

"TAKE…IT…BACK…NOW, SORCERER ED-BOY!" The clouds swirled, looking more and more ominous.

"Eddy, just take it back, they won't open the runway if a storm brews!" Double D interjected.

"Alright, alright. I take it back, jeez," Eddy said. Once Rolf was satisfied, he returned to his seat. The sky appeared to clear up. "Sore loser," Eddy grumbled. Double D laughed.

"Let's go Eddy, I believe the plane is boarding."

The kids all gathered into the plane, and flew from Peach Creek…It took several hours to get to New York City.

"Did I thank you, Eddy, for doing all this again?" Double D sang once they felt the rush of cold New York air.

"About a million times," Eddy said, but smiled. Double D felt warmth in his hands. He looked down, and saw Ed's huge fingers curl around his own. He smiled and looked up at him. Ed grinned.

"I'm so excited, Double D!"

In groups, they all broke to wander the city, and met back in Central Park.

Double D was reading an NYU pamphlet on a bench when Marie sat next to him.

"Hiya, Handsome," she said.

"Hello, Marie."

"NYU, huh. Wow. Peach Creek is gonna be dull without you."

"That's incredulous! Marie, you're going to go to L.A. and manage big time bands…You'll forget all about Peach Creek in a week!" Double D noted. She shook her head.

"Nah. But good luck, Double D. You deserve this, twelve times over. Just promise you'll e-mail, face book…something."

"You know I will," he smiled and ruffled her hair.

"So when are you gonna tell Ed how you feel?"

"When the moments right, I suppose,"

"Well, he's over there dancing around with the pigeons. I'd say now is as good as ever," she laughed.

"Then all I have left is to wait for your blessing," He shivered, with a smile. She returned it.

"You know it's your. Go get em, Tiger," she gave him a little push of encouragement. Double D took a deep breath, and hugged Marie. He looked at Ed who was now sprawled on the ground. He felt his heart quicken its pace. He looked back at her.

"Don't you dare look back at me. Go," she waved him off. And Double D turned to face forward. He approached Ed, and sat down next to him. He swept his lips across Ed's, and Ed held up a hand to hold him there. He let the kiss go deeper. Ed locked his arms around Double D's back, holding him to his chest.

When they parted Double D's vision had gone hazy. He even felt a little Dizzy.

"Double D. Do you need anybody?" Ed asked, locking his eyes into a stare. Double D smiled.

"I need someone to love," he replied.

"Could it be anybody?"

"I want someone to love,"

Double D remembered his dream of him running on the spinning record, his consciences bantering with one another.

"I want you. I want only you. Now. Forever, whatever it takes. I cannot stand a moment that doesn't have your touch or your warmth in it, Ed, I need you. I want you to be mine, and I don't care what ever anyone thinks! I wouldn't mind if the whole world knew. All of Central Park!" Double D's voice got louder and louder; he was standing now, and a small audience was building. But Double D paid no attention.

"I love you, Ed! I love you with all of my existence! I promise to give you the best of me, because you don't deserve anything less! I love you. I love you. I LOVE YOU!"

The entire cul de sac, and several of park goers had gathered to see what the excitement was all about.

Double D, now tensing, looked back down at Ed. His eyes hopeful. Ed pulled himself up, his hands on Double D's hips. He smiled his big, goofy smile.

"Double D, you are my sunshine and my only sunshine. N' my Christmas, Fourth of July, n' Easter. I'unno what these feelings are, but they're only good ones, and full of all the love in the world! I want to hold your hand all day n' do this!" He scooped up Double D and swung him around and around. Everyone clapped and awed.

"I really really reaaallyyy love you, too, Double D!" Ed pulled him in for a deep kiss. The park erupted in applause. Nazz and Marie, of course, were smiling the brightest, and everyone else had a smug knew-it-all-along smirk. They declared it. They were it. And at that moment Eddy pulled Sarah closer to him to keep her from shivering, and kissed her lightly on her head.

And NYU pre-med student, and Peach Creeks most lovable, graceful dancer.

A business man in the making, and a little red-head who suddenly realized how wonderful her big brother actually was.

A group of kids who grew up together, despite everything, were starting their lives.

And this was just the beginning.


End file.
